We interrupt this program ...

I received the packet of information from the place my mom referred me to.

The packet is only 8 pages long, the first being a cover page thanking me for my inquiry. A lot smaller than I expected. No shiny pictures of adoptive parents with the children (or of models pretending to be adoptive parents and children). No glossy anything.

Just 8 straight-forward pages.

The next 4 pages explains adoption agencies and how they work. There's a good bit of detail about the home studies and how, while they seem scary and intimidating, they're truly meant to help the perspective parents. It's honest enough to say that not all adoption agents are as "into" the process as others, but that most do have their hearts in the right place.

It also explains how to be picky - that it's perfectly ok to walk away from an agency you've chosen if you don't feel comfortable with it, to ask a lot of questions and be sure of your decision. It mentions how some agencies seem to have arbitrary requirements and that, no matter your situation, you can find one that fits if you keep looking.

One page is dedicated to their Mission, with 8 points of interest.

One page listed their eligibility requirements.

My heart did drop at one of their requirements. It mentions a combined average age of under 45. I cried. Honest. If they want the combined age to be less than 45, we definitely don't meet that.

The last page details their fees, all of which, honestly, are more than reasonable. There was no mention of living expenses, no mention of medical bills for the birth mother.

I did the adult thing and sent an e-mail asking for clarification on the age thing. It seemed to me that a combined age of no more than 45 would put both at a medium age of 22.5. It just didn't make sense to me.

And I'm glad I did.

Combined average age - add the two together and divide by 2. Which puts us well into the right category. The only other glitch is that they do require the couple be married at least 3 years by the time the application is submitted, a milestone we won't reach until September.

So I shot off another e-mail, listing several more questions that I have.

- What's the payment process? When are those fees due?
- Are they aware of any adoption funding or scholarships available to help offset the costs?
- Do their fees include the attny or are we required to provide our own?
- Do they offer a semi-open adoption, where pictures and updates can be sent without actually having full on, direct contact with the birth mother?
- Do they work with various races or do they deal mainly with caucasion?
- Do we have to wait until our anniversary to get completely started, such as with the home study, or can we get that ball rolling at any time (cuz Lord knows those take a few months)?

She's already replied with answers to every question and a statement to never worry about asking too many questions. She said she wants us to be comfortable with whoever we choose.

And what do they charge? The usual $1000 for the home study (paid up front) and then 15% of your gross annual income (based on the calendar year preceding the placement), not to exceed $8000, paid when they have the surrenders of both parents. I'll explain her comment about "both" if anyone's curious, but it's not necessarily a signature from the birth father.

I have a couple more questions based on their answers, but I'm liking them. A lot.

Why?

It's straight forward. They didn't spend gobs of money on fancy, splashy brochures and glossy pictures, thereby increasing the fees they charge. There was no grabbing at our "business", none of that "we're the ones for you!" that you get so often.

So ... insert my usual "we'll see" comment. Because we will. I'm going to ask my questions and see where it goes from there (I have one about the average fees for the attnys they use). I'm going to show the information to Patrick and we'll discuss it.

By the way ... anyone know if not having a kitchen table and chairs has an impact on a home study? I mean, it's just never been a priority and I wonder if that'd be frowned upon.