Really ...

It wasn't that bad.

At first, it was. But later, it wasn't.

And thank you for listening. You ladies are a continual source of support and love and I can never thank you enough for not telling me to shut the hell up and get over myself.

I just hate the holidays. And my reaction always seems to take me by surprise.

I need to stop thinking the "we should"s. I know it'll be our turn one day, I know we'll be celebrating milestones and holidays with our own child.

It's just hard to overcome the thought that we should already be doing so.

But the day wasn't bad. Honest.

I got over my pity party and hung around the house. Our friends Marty and Alan came over around 6pm and we trekked to my mom's place, where there was a lot of food and laughter (and absolutely no baby talk), and even a puppy.

We couldn't stay too long as both Marty and I had to work today.

Ok - I didn't have to work. Being a temp employee, though, I don't get paid for any days I don't work and, since the option to work was there, I went in.

Although I ended up only staying for 2 hours. One of the online training courses I was to take is open to employees only, so that shot most of my day. I could have done some reports, but there were only 3 regular employees working and they have their own quotas to meet. They surely didn't need me popping up every few minutes to ask a question.

On a plus side - I did get an e-mail to go ahead and attend the new hire orientation on Monday. So I consider that a bonus.

I called the employment agency on my way home to see how the delivery of the paycheck will work next week. She reported that she received an e-mail from my supervisor on Wed, saying that I'm working out very well and that she's super excited that I'm already processing reports on my own.

So yay me!

And next week I'm going to try to work as much as possible since there's unlimited overtime available. So you probably won't hear from me much and I may not be reading as often. But I promise to catch up on anything I miss.

The (pity) party has started ...

The whore showed up yesterday.

Yes, my period decided to wait until the actual freakin holiday to show her ass.

My uterus truly does hate me.

My dad has called me twice now, asking if we were going to be there for Thanksgiving. Both times I told him no.

Not only is Patrick avoiding all holiday gatherings this year, but ... well ... my step-sister and her family will be there. And they'll be the only ones of us kids to be there, so who am I supposed to use to ignore the baby and all the happy baby talk? I mean ... this will be his first Thanksgiving where he'll actually be aware of the going-ons around him. And since there is no such thing as even a basic conversation with either parental unit on that side that doesn't involve updates on what that grandchild can do now, I can't imagine how an actual real holiday with him will be.

That sounds awful. I know it does. Who ignores a baby, for cry-eye?

Me. I do.

I wish I were like those of you who can immerse yourselves in the babies of your friends and siblings. But I can't. I just find it too painful and it seems to get worse with every passing year.

Maybe it's the age thing.

When I started my first round of fertility treatments, I was just 25. Yes, a whopping 25 years old with an already long history of PCOS and missed periods. Back then, I was like that - I didn't hesitate to hold babies and I enjoyed being around them.

Because I never imagined I'd still be childless 12 years and numerous treatment cycles later. Sure, I figured it'd take a bit of time. A couple years at the most.

Yet, here I am. 37 and wondering why I even have a uterus and ovaries.

And why they always wait for holidays to remind me of their uselessness.

Don't get me wrong - I do have a lot to be thankful for.

Such as not having to go spend a day with a part of my family that can't help but remind me of what I'd be the most thankful for but don't have.

Work update ...

Ok ... I've survived my first 3 days.

Score.

It isn't bad at all. The people on my team really are super nice and funny and a lively bunch.

The computer system isn't hard (although the ones who use both bitch about the one I'm using because it's newer and has more clicks to get through, but I think it's fairly simple to navigate through).

The work itself can get pretty confusing, but so far so good. It's just a lot to remember. Right now, though, they're having use new ones put our reports in a re-audit que for review before letting us actually approve them. So at least someone will catch any errors before they're actually made.

But I spent this entire afternoon at my desk, by myself, processing reports. And standing up to ask the mentor girl a gazillion questions. I was able to get through a number of them on my own, though, so I count that as a positive.

The air on our floor is super dry and I've ended up with massive headaches both yesterday and today (I'm waiting for today's Tylenol to kick in gah).

Another plus - and this tickled me, having come from a call center - we can listen to music. We can bring an MP3 player if we have one or listen to streaming radio online. We can't surf - that place is locked down tighter than a virgin's panties. But I'm all excited about being able to bring my MP3 player to listen to while I'm working.

I can still pretty much make my own schedule and they're currently offering unlimited amounts of overtime. I did go in at 7 this morning so I could leave at 3:30, come home, get my last unemployment check, then run to the bank since it absolutely needed to be deposited today. But no check. I'm pissed. I filed like normal on Sunday and I always have it on Wednesday when I file on Sunday, but not today. Which means I won't get it until Friday. Or ... I had better get the damned thing on Friday, would be a better way to put it.

I'm going to have to beg Marc to come by here and deposit it for me since I don't know that I want to be up at 5am again on Friday.

Anyway ...

They hired a direct hire who started at the same time as us. And the first 2 days were full of "you'll need to do this, but they won't because ... blah blah blah". Such as a security review and test. The other new hire temp and I were repeatedly told we didn't need to do it since we're not employees of the company. But - and this is a good but - she told me this morning to do it on Friday "because you can never tell". So I take that to mean I may be able to slide into a permanent position.

The other thing is that they were initially going to move me to a desk next to the other temp person - which is a block of cubicles away from the rest of the team. Apparently the desk I was put in is slotted for a permanent hire. Yesterday, though, there was a question about my profile on their intranet thing and she told me to go ahead and put the phone number to my current desk in it since that'll be my phone number. Not the phone number for the phone at the other temp desk.

So ... I'm going to try to not assume anything, but both of those things do give me reason to think that maybe - again - I'll be sliding into one of the permanent positions they have open (they currently have 2 perm positions open in their team).

And now I'm off to lay on the couch and wait for my head to stop pounding.

First day down ...

I survived the first day.

And as with most first days, it was a bit of hurry up and wait.

Everyone so far seems super friendly. And harried. The poor people are seriously stressed because of how behind they are with the computer transition. Apparently a few were working 60+ hours a week. Great for the pay check, but not so great for their sleep and stress levels.

But that'll be good for us.

It was our luck that they were having a Thanksgiving pot luck yesterday, so score on the tons of free food.

There was a lot of reading and a lot of listening. Between the big lunch and sitting and listening for 2 hours, I was ready to pass out by 4pm.

And that's it. There isn't a whole lot to report just yet as it's all so new.

I should have more details over the next few days.

As of now, I'm off to get ready for day #2.

Like a schoolgirl ...

I was one of those that looked forward to school starting. Not because I was all about the classes, but because I really saw school as a giant social event. Half of our school were kids bussed in from the next town over, so each September presented me with a chance to see friends I didn't see all summer. And I pulled A's & B's, so it's not like it was all socializing. But really ... that's kind of how I saw high school -- one big social thing (I was a cheerleader, in the choir, and in the spring musicals, so I was a busy busy girl) with some classes and homework thrown in.

So yeah ... I always had my back to school outfit picked out days in advance out of sheer anticipation.

Tomorrow is no different.

I have my outfit picked out and I know what I'm taking for lunch. I know what time I need to get up and when I have to walk out of my front door in order to get through all of the school zones and to the office on time.

And as obnoxious as this may sound, I expect to have trouble sleeping tonight.

Earlier today, Patrick asked me if I was nervous.

Pfffft. Hell no.

School is in and this bitch is excited.

Video Fun ...

No, not the kind you're thinking.

Ya pervs.

It's a video I took of Hoss this morning for my mom. At the end, when he looks all stern with his ears layed back, I was scratching his chest. That's a look of "aaaahhh", not a look of "I'm going to eat your face".

I'm ready!

Two more days! Rah!

I did go to the thrift store and then also hit a local KARM store and pick up a few things. I spent just over $40, but came away with 9 or 10 items.

I always feel bad going into those stores. Not because of pride, but because I feel like there's so many others that probably need the low-cost clothing more than I do and that I shouldn't be buying things that maybe someone else will need.

Which is why, to this day, I rarely eat the last of anything in our fridge.

But I'm about set at least until I get my first couple of paychecks (bills will come first).

Oh - and I did find shoes. I managed to get 2 pairs for just $38 after tax. So I'm set in the shoe department for a little bit, as well.

Biscuit, our little dog, has a thing about clothes.

I don't know what it is, but she gets all sorts of excited when we change clothes or if we're carrying laundry down to the washer. She has to sniff them and then runs around like a crazy dog.

It's probably safe to say that she'd be a total clothes whore if she were human.

All over the place ...

The whorebitch that is my period hasn't shown up yet (of course), but everything is now officially pointing to go. The only symptom yet to appear is the itchy nipples. That usually starts a day or two before lift off and I fully expect it this weekend.

That whole refusing to be left out of the excitement thing my uterus has.

The weather here has been about 10 degrees below normal. We're already in the low 20's at night, which is typical January / February weather for us.

It strikes me as odd that I'm even bitching about cold weather this late in November seeing as I grew up in a suburb of Chicago, where we'd normally have snow already. But almost 15 years in East Tennessee has me spoiled for warmer weather.

The dogs, though, are definitely enjoying the cooler temps more. Not to say they adore 20 degree temps, but there's no more misery in trying to get out of the sun during the mid-day.

Hoss gets several blankets (I get the cheapie $5 blankets from The Dollar General) for his dog house since it's pretty wide open and I want to make sure he stays as least semi-warm. Yesterday he dragged 2 of them out and laid on them in the sun. I'm not sure if it was an attempt to warm up or because he was too warm inside the house with the blankets and his own body heat.

Of course, though, he never thinks to drag them back in. So I had to man-handle stinky, doggy blankets yesterday. Yum.

Right now he's laying on our deck, chomping a stick.

I'm still all abuzz about starting the job on Monday, but I won't go on and on like I have. I still need some tops and shoes and yesterday ventured into a local thrift store.

Most of the clothes there are decent, but some are obviously worn. As in ... just ... you know ... they look worn. But the prices range from $1 - $5 on average, so worn be damned. I plan on going back and actually buying some things.

I even came across a few London Fog coats, which can normally retail for well over $100. These? They were $15 and in excellent condition. I didn't see one in my size, but I'm going to look more thoroughly when I go back.

And I'll stop there. Otherwise this will turn into yet another on and on diatribe.

It's not a party without it ...

My period, which is a week overdue, is finally on its way.

Considering it showed up the day after my wedding and usually shows up at every holiday and birthday, the timing shouldn't surprise me. My uterus hates being left out of any celebration.

So it really shouldn't be a shock it's gearing up to start this coming weekend, if it doesn't decide to hold out for the big day itself - Monday. I mean, why should I get to enjoy the first day of a new job alone?!?

In honor of my uterus's need to feel included, please sing the following to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree" ...

Oh stupid ute
Oh stupid ute
Why do you always torture me?

Oh stupid ute
Oh stupid ute
Why can't you just let it be?

I will not tell
If you don't show
Not a word
If you won't flow

Oh stupid ute
Oh stupid ute
Why do you always torture me?

Last workless Monday ...

I wasn't able to exchange the tops.

Well, not for the same tops in a different size, at least. I did exchange them for another pair of jeans (I went with a 16 this time, but regretted it after I got home and tried on a newly washed pair of the 14's again and remembered that they really do fit much better), a different top (not excited about it, but it was $5), and a shawl.

There are things I still need to get (more tops, some shoes), but not today!

Nope. This girl is going to shower, put her jammies right back on, and then lounge around the house all day.

Why?

Because, like my title says, it's my last workless Monday!

And seeing as I plan on taking full advantage of the practically unlimited amount of overtime I'll be offered, I need to make this week one hell of a relaxing one.

Speaking of relaxing ...

Do I need to tell anyone how awesome it is to not have to scour careerbuilder and monster every morning? To not have to attack the Sunday job section like it owes me money?

I didn't think so.

Shopping Success ... kinda ...

We did go shopping yesterday.

I bought a couple pairs of jeans, 4 tops and, a sweater. But 3 of the tops will need to go back - they're too tight across the chest. I thought those tops might be, but figured I'd risk it since they didn't have any of them a size up.

No, I didn't try them on at the store. I always find that depressing, so I don't do it.

I especially hate shopping for tops. I'm large breasted and always end up having to buy a larger size just to go around the boobs without looking like I'm heading for a porn shoot. It's especially depressing when I know I don't wear an XXL, but that's all that will fit them. So I end up with a top that has room for my girls, but is too large everywhere else.

Although I do think clothes have started running smaller and smaller in the last several years. My younger step-sister, who has weighed more than 105lbs only when she was pregnant and has small boobs, usually has to go with a medium these days. And that girl is not a medium, believe me.

Anyway ... 3 tops will need to be exchanged.

The 2 pairs of jeans I bought in a 14 and they fit pretty well. My belly needs a 16 (it's the first place I gain weight and the last place I lose it), but my butt and thighs are a 14. Most of my jeans are all saggy assed and baggy thighed because I shop for comfort, not style. Seeing as the goal of these were to dress them up with a nice top and nice shoes, I didn't want the baggy.

So although I'll be all squeezed in the middle with the dreaded muffin top overhang, the rest of them look damned good. And since I never (I mean, never) wear any top tucked or snug, the bit of overhang won't be a problem.

(that image is oh-so-attractive, isn't it?)

Even the husband mentioned the difference in fit. That should tell you how significant it is.

I'll need to get those exchanged, pick up a few more, along with another pair or two of jeans, and pick out a few pairs of shoes for the week. Tennis shoes are allowed only on Friday and the only pair of dressy shoes I own are high heeled boots, so I'm going to have to find some sort of something else that will look good and be comfy. I already have a few pairs of dressy pants (in basic, classic colors), so I'm not really worried about that as I'll only wear them a couple times a week and mixing the tops should keep the "didn't you just wear that?" away.

I also talked about our sweet-tooths last night. Patrick makes awesome pumpkin pie cheesecake and goes a bit nuts with them this time of year. Add Halloween candy and other not good for you foods mixed with a serious lack of will power on my end and you have someone who's steps away from no longer fitting into the nice jeans she just bought.

So I've decreed - we really need to be more careful about what foods we bring into our house. We already eat grilled chicken most nights for dinner (it's cheap) and a veggie, but it's the extras we bring in.

Like the blueberry muffin mix we bought last night.

This is going to be tough.

I'm good ...

Does it need to be said that I'm still riding the high of the newly employed?

People who know people who've gone to this company as 'temporary' employees keep saying the company is known for bringing someone in through an agency, telling them it's for a limited time only, and then hiring them anyway.

I'm trying not to count that chicken. Trying. But it's hard.

In the meantime, it's almost like the good sex after-glow - warm and fuzzy and leaving me satisfyingly content.

Knowing that I wouldn't have to worry about making sure $47 lasted me 3 weeks, I went to McKay's used book store and splurged on 3 books. But I only allowed myself to buy 1 hardcover at $13. The other two were paperback and one of those wasn't even $2. So the guilt I've gotten use to over the last several months was only a small whisper.

That's not to say that I'll soon be back into my old spending ways. No. I'm going to do what I can to continue to spend less - no more eating lunch out every day, no more going out to eat more nights than not, etc ... I never truly realized how much money I wasted on lunches and dinners alone.

I'd add buying clothes to that, but I don't. I hate clothing shopping and I hate spending money on clothes. Ask the husband - I wear his shirts more days than my own because I just don't have much clothing. I go shopping with the best of intentions, but I'll eventually put the items back if I walk around enough.

So I do. I pick up a few items, carry them around the store for several minutes, then put them back. And there have been times where, if I do manage to escape with something I actually bought, I'll take the items back the next day.

But I will go. For this job, I will. I just discovered a local Steve & Barry's and was amazingly impressed with their store. And even more so with their prices. So there will be a shopping trip in the next few days that will not have me talking myself out of my purchases while walking around and will not leave me with a sense that I need to return it all (especially when most items are under $10 and of the same quality you'll find at high dollar stores!).

No more Ross for this woman, with its disheveled racks and off-size clothing.

Who knew that going to work instead of sitting around the house could feel so good?

All agog ...

Thank you for the congrats, ladies!

I'm still so super excited.

So excited that it's tempting to stop random people and say "Hi. My name is Angela and I have a job!".

The woman from the agency called yesterday afternoon right as I walked back into my door after taking the drug test and said they forgot to get a copy of my driver's license and ss card. She suggested that I bring it by this morning and then we'll go to lunch.

I'm not sure if that's SOP or not and I'm not sure if that invitation means she's buying, but I don't care. It'll be grown up conversation with a business type person and I've missed having that.

Patrick took me out to dinner last night to celebrate my jobification and, on our way in, I told him how I had these lists of what I will and won't miss when the job starts.

He surmised that the fact that I had lists at all showed I had way too much time on my hands. But I assured him they weren't actually written down - just kept in my head.

I'm sure I've mentioned them in previous whiney posts, but here they are again ...

I won't miss having cats and a dog be my main source of daily conversation. I won't miss doing 99.9999% of the cooking and cleaning. I won't miss spending my days chasing various animals away from items they shouldn't have or things they shouldn't be digging at. And I won't miss the highlight of my day being a really good guest on Oprah.

I will miss being able to take care of business during normal business hours. And I will miss being able to take a nap if I want to. But that's really about it.

Needless to say, I'm looking forward to the changes this will bring far more than I'm mourning the loss of being able to lounge around in my pajamas until 2pm if I want. Say what you want, but that does get old after the first few weeks.

Although I was laying on the couch when the lists of yays went through my head.

A Window Opens ...

I'm super excited to announce that I have a job.

EEEEEEEEE!

Here's the run-down ...

The business is a major company that works with the government and currently has almost 44,000 employees. This is the one I mentioned having a later interview with yesterday and a company I have only heard good things about.

I'll be considered an 'Expense Report Auditor'.

The job is currently listed as a contract position for 3 months while they transition from one computer system to another and take care of the huge backlog the transition has created.

The pay is good. It's not quite what I was making when I left my last job, but definitely more than what most companies here pay and more than I was expecting.

And it's a hell of a lot more than what I'm bringing in on unemployment.

The hours are, technically, Monday - Friday / 8 - 5, but I can pretty much make my own hours when I'm up and running on my own as long as I put in 8. Plus, while it's not mandatory, I'll also be able to work about as much overtime as I want.

I knew before I even left the interview that she was going to ask for me - she said to expect to start on Monday, but that she'd have to let the agency know and the agency would have to then call me to make it 'official'.

Technical, computer difficulties on their end has me and one other person actually not starting until Monday the 24th, though.

So I have 1 more week on unemployment, but I think this will probably be the one week I truly enjoy out of all the weeks I've been unemployed. I know people would expect me to have enjoyed this time off, but there's nothing fun but about stressing over bills you can barely pay and food you really can't afford to buy.

But no more! At least for the next 3 months (I'm so hoping they'll realize they can't live without me during that time) I'll once again feel secure.

I'm beyond excited.

No more nightcaps ...

The agency called yesterday afternoon with information on another possible job for me. The company needs 3 people - she was going to tweak my resume a bit and send it over.

Although I didn't admit it, I recognized which company she was talking about while she was reading the description (they don't like to share the company name so don't try to go around them for the job). It's a good company. I know a few people who have gone there in the last several months and they're all very happy.

And it's not customer service. Yay.

So that's 2 possible jobs this week. I haven't heard from the HR manager for the other one yet, but at least my resume is on the plate of consideration.

Bill paying aside, a job would mean insurance. And that would mean we could move forward again with our adoption plans.

Edit 9:54am

I have a 4:30 interview for the job through the agency! Right now it's considered a contract position through February, but I'm not caring. I know this company and I'm seriously hoping they love me.

*****

I've been having the strangest dreams lately.

First there was the one where I was able to watch someone's baby online - like on a webcam - and then just reach into the monitor and take it. Lovely, eh? But I was just babysitting. Like keeping it for a few hours and then putting it back. I did that with 2 babies. I don't think the mother of either of them realized what I was doing because I remember thinking I had to have the boy back soon or the mother would think it was kidnapped.

Then there was a zombie one. Only I wasn't afraid of the zombies. They were just ... there. And someone commented that so & so was gotten by the zombies and we have to be careful. But it wasn't a run away from them screaming sort of dream for me personally, although the others in my dream were freaking out. I was oddly calm and not afraid.

I dreamt of a frog one night. This teeny, tiny, colorful frog on a sidewalk. It was dark out and the sidewalk was dirty and I remember it being set in some major city. It was a busy sidewalk and I was with a friend, heading somewhere I don't remember, when I spotted it. I don't know that it was dodging feet, but I seemed to assume it was about to be squashed. I kept trying to gently snag it (it was teeny) while staying out of the way of the other people walking about. I never did catch it before waking up.

This morning's was just absolutely horrible. A joke Patrick said / did was taken wrong by this gang he hung out with (he really doesn't hang out with gangs) and they were, unbeknownst to him, going to kill him later that night. Even though they said the joke was ok and no one was offended. Something to do with swinging his butt around. I knew, but he didn't. And there wasn't anything I could do to prevent it. I was supposed to just go home and wait and hope the few guys I talked to would change their minds. Why calling the police or playing stupid and insisting he went home with me never entered my mind, I don't know. But it didn't. Instead, it seemed better that I pretend everything was ok so he wouldn't know and wouldn't be scared. I woke up, though, just as a friend of ours was challenging me (in one of those - you're just going home?!? - sort of ways) to do something. I'm looking forward to the feelings of that dream dissipating.

All of my dreams have been like those lately - just strange. Even the ones I barely remember leave me with a "huh?" sort of feeling the next morning.

Crazy brain.

Cinnamon be damned ...

Another Monday ... how time flies when you're not working.

I should expect to hear from that HR manager sometime this week. Keep your fingers crossed, por favor.

*****

A couple weekends ago, my husband, my best friend Marc, and I went to a couple Wal-Mart stores to eyeball Christmas trees.

The holiday section of both stores had this horrendously strong cinnamon scent. I thought it was just me being sensitive until Marc commented on it. And then Patrick commented on it.

It was headache inducing strong. In both stores.

Since it was in both stores, I figured it was something company-wide; something in all of them. So I e-mailed Wal-Mart through their web site about the scent.

Surprisingly enough, the manager of my closest store called me this morning to talk about it. It turns out that it's from a holiday product they carry - these scented pine-cones. So it comes to them already like that. And I'm far from the first person to mention it. He said there have been a few comments made, but usually just in passing as they're checking out.

This is a clue that more people need to actually speak up - use e-mail or (respectfully and politely) speak to the store manager about it. It's one thing when a cashier says "yeah, a few people mentioned it", but something completely different when the customer takes the time to either e-mail the corporation or seek out a manager themselves.

But I digress ...

My suggestion, since it's a product and not something piped into the store, was to maybe display fewer of them. Or display them near the doors for the lawn and garden section so that some of the scent can escape rather than being trapped in the main part of the section ... ya know ... where a good portion of the decorations are kept and where you're far more likely to spend more time.

I also said it would do the manufacturer of that product some good to know what customers have been saying about it. It doesn't do anything for anyone (store or manufacturer) to produce and display something that ends up only chasing customers away.

Because I tell ya ... if you already have a headache when you go there, you're in for a nauseating time if you hit the holiday section.

Which is a shame. As much as I dislike the monster Wal-Mart has become, they usually do have good holiday products at decent prices.

The manager was super nice, though, and completely understood where I was coming from. He said they'll be looking at ways to fix the problem and, hopefully, make it less of an issue. Because I like cinnamon. I just don't like drowning in it.

And that's your Monday rant.

Tease ...

I was pretty upset after Friday morning's phone call. Really. Pissed and depressed and just flat out ugly.

That afternoon, I received a call from another company I had sent my resume to. After I answered the questions and gave what I thought was a reasonable pay expectation, the woman said I should expect a call from the HR manager next week.

Now, some will say this is a window - when a door closes, a window opens ... or whatever.

I say this is God having a good bit of fun at my expense.

As in ... let's see how much up and down Angela can take before she completely loses it and ends up babbling in the corner.

Well then ...

The company the agency called about had conducted their own interviews and hired someone.

So they ended up not using the agency and, in turn, won't be hiring me.

She's going to continue to try and find something for me, but that was the only receptionist / admin position she has right now.

Fuck'n shit.

More notes ...

I did e-mail with the agency yesterday and she said she was still trying to get them on the phone. So ... maybe I'll have some sort of news today. It'd be nice considering the company wants the receptionist to start on Monday.

*****

Today is one year since we were handed the keys to our new place. I wish I could do that whole "how things change in a year" shpeel, but I can't. The only new thing from a year ago is that I'm without a job.

Maybe I'll have more to report a year from today.

*****

You know the feeling that you can hear the blood rushing through your ears when you've had too much drink?

That's been the state of my ears for the last few days. I believe it's my sinuses causing it, but I can't exactly go to a doctor to make sure since we don't have insurance.

But I'm pretty sure it's sinuses - it's both ears and more noticeable after I've been laying down. What I do know for positive is that it's irrating. I have this odd mixture of not being able to hear things clearly while getting aggravated when there's too much noise - like the idiots that yell at you during a commercial. Those guys are more irritating than normal right now. So while I sometimes struggle to hear a normally spoken word, too much noise grates my nerves like nothing else (I think it's because there's already noise in my head and the extra noise is just too much).

And other than being a bit stuffy, I feel fine. Just that constant noise in my head.

I figure it'll work itself out when the weather finally decides what it wants to do.

The day after ...

I stayed up, glued to my tv, until after Obama's acceptance speech.

Whew! Is what I say.

Now that we've all put our eggs into his basket, here's to hoping he doesn't let us down.

*****

I haven't heard back from the agency yet. Which could be a good or not so good thing - either she's still gathering information, waiting to hear back from them, or has heard back and just doesn't want to call me yet.

Ya know ... just about any scenerio.

Thank you for your support and comments, though. Y'all never hesitate to remind me that I'm not a big, fat loser hah

*****

I don't have much on my agenda for today. Patrick's back at work and it's been pretty boring here the last couple of days.

Done and done ...

I voted.

The lines weren't bad at all. The polling place for me is about 5 minutes from my house - so with the drive there, waiting in line to verify my eligibility, waiting in line to vote, voting, and the drive back, I was home in about 35 - 40 minutes.

So ... that's done. And I'm glad. I'm so beyond sick of this election season.

There was a possible job on the front that I haven't mentioned for fear of jinxing myself. That and because I'm pretty much over talking about a possible job only to never hear anything back.

This is the crux ...

It was a csr job that needed 20+ associates. The agent said it's temporary, just 2 months. But me and a couple of friends figured that wasn't quite right - some companies will use an agency to hire a lot of people, put them through training, then keep the ones they want. And we were able to figure out which company it was through the little bit of information she had given me.

And while it was a csr job, the company pays really well and even has adoption benefits.

So when I didn't hear from the agent for a few days, I e-mailed her. She called me this morning to say she actually has another position she think I'd fit into - it's a receptionist position for a company opening a local branch.

I hemmed and hawed - it's hard to pass up a company that you know offers adoption benefits. But I didn't want to say outright that I figured out which company it was and the reason I wanted to go there.

She, however, made up my mind for me. Apparently that company does this every year - they use this agency to bring in a number of people to cover a busy time and then let them all go. So it truly is a temporary job.

Whereas the receptionist position will go permanent and she believes it will pay a little bit more.

So ... even though I don't have the level of admin experience they're looking for, she's going to try and get them to take me anyway. I think she may rearrange my resume to make it more along the lines of what they're looking for.

Outside of them wanting the person to start this coming Monday, that's all the information I have.

I should hear something from her sometime today, but I'm not couting my chickens. I've already counted too many chickens that ended up not hatching.

And now I'm off to compulsively watch polling results.

Movie suckage ...

We didn't get many trick-or-treaters. This was our first Halloween here and the previous owners said they didn't get many, but still ... we bought a ton of friggin candy just in case.

It was the good stuff, too. Hershey all the way. And since we didn't get many, I was doling out entire handfuls of mini-goodness to each kid that came by.

So maybe word will spread that not only do we give out good candy, but we give out a lot of it. Maybe next year we'll have a better turnout.

(Yes, I know trunk or treats are all the rage right now. Don't get me started - I could write paragraphs about the ruining of Halloween lead by a pack of well meaning paranoids.)

And what was up with the serious lack of scary movies?!? Since when do Resident Evil, the new House of Wax, and The House on Haunted Hill qualify as scary movies?

Where was Halloween (only the best scary movie ever!) and Amityville Horror (the original, of course)? Not even a hint of Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Motel Hell, both of which are decent in a moment of desperation.

Patrick, Marc, and I were all settled in, ready for a lights out scary movie fest and all we were handed were the above 3 mentioned lame movies and a couple of those live "ghost hunter" crap shows.

I was seriously disappointed. Next year I'm not leaving the choices up to the cable channels - I'll be renting a buttload of movies on my own, thank you very much.


In other news ...

We went to dinner and then bowling with a couple of friends and their kids last night and had a grand time. I even bowled my best game ever - 134!

So even though Halloween was a total let-down, Biscuit looked adorable and the rest of the weekend was a most awesome one.