Don't you just love how huge my leg looks there? hah
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Mo' Money ...
Patrick is off running a sawmill related errand, so I'm just hanging out.
The poor guy - he's been off all week so far and has had to spend most of that time with his wife hah I thought the least I could do was let him run this one alone. Especially since it's an hour drive each way.
It really has been far more relaxed here these last few days. Wishes upon wishes would have him back to working his sawmill. Physically demanding work, yes. But the mental trade-off would be worth it 100 times over.
The refund check from our cancelled dining set arrived today. $400 of that is going straight to Patrick's Home Depot card to pay for the water heater. And as painful as it was to part with that money (the check was made out to me, don't ya know), it would have been seriously painful to not have had it come back to us at all and be stuck with that $400 on the credit card.
One of those "for a reason" things that I absolutely hate (because people are usually referring to my ovaries and/or uterus when the words are uttered).
Speaking of money ...
I had a talk with at&t this morning. I received our 2nd bill - for $90+ dollars. Yes, $90+ dollars. Which is about 30 bucks more than I was expecting.
When we signed up for the internet, we had to get a phone line in order to get the dsl speed we need. Which irritated me to no end, but we didn't exactly have a choice. After streaking upstairs and to their site today, though, I discovered that oh no - we could now get the exact same dsl plan for just $5 more without a phone line.
So the phone line has been cancelled and will be disconnected around midnight tonight. I'm not doing $90+ a month, especially when almost half of that cost is for a phone line we don't use.
I just realized it's barely after 1pm. Huh. We've had such a busy morning that it really seems like it should already be at least 3 or 4pm.
The poor guy - he's been off all week so far and has had to spend most of that time with his wife hah I thought the least I could do was let him run this one alone. Especially since it's an hour drive each way.
It really has been far more relaxed here these last few days. Wishes upon wishes would have him back to working his sawmill. Physically demanding work, yes. But the mental trade-off would be worth it 100 times over.
The refund check from our cancelled dining set arrived today. $400 of that is going straight to Patrick's Home Depot card to pay for the water heater. And as painful as it was to part with that money (the check was made out to me, don't ya know), it would have been seriously painful to not have had it come back to us at all and be stuck with that $400 on the credit card.
One of those "for a reason" things that I absolutely hate (because people are usually referring to my ovaries and/or uterus when the words are uttered).
Speaking of money ...
I had a talk with at&t this morning. I received our 2nd bill - for $90+ dollars. Yes, $90+ dollars. Which is about 30 bucks more than I was expecting.
When we signed up for the internet, we had to get a phone line in order to get the dsl speed we need. Which irritated me to no end, but we didn't exactly have a choice. After streaking upstairs and to their site today, though, I discovered that oh no - we could now get the exact same dsl plan for just $5 more without a phone line.
So the phone line has been cancelled and will be disconnected around midnight tonight. I'm not doing $90+ a month, especially when almost half of that cost is for a phone line we don't use.
I just realized it's barely after 1pm. Huh. We've had such a busy morning that it really seems like it should already be at least 3 or 4pm.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Chilly outside ...
I've been tagged by a couple of awesome ladies, so be sure to read the whole thing.
We didn't go to the haunted corn maze on Saturday. Patrick thought there was going to be a group of people going and mentioned his hanging out at his mom's while the rest of us went. He apparently doesn't enjoy the spooky as much as I do.
Which meant we weren't going. Not because he refused to go - when he found out it really was going to be just the two of us, he insisted we go since I'd been looking forward to it all year (really, I had been). But that's no fun for me. I love to get into the mood of it all - you won't find me laughing my way through a haunted anything unless it's just that badly done. And I can't enjoy it like that if those I go with aren't enjoying it the same.
Instead, he made a few pumpkin pie cheesecakes (holy cripes they're so yummy) and we had a couple people over for pizza. So it was a fun evening all the same.
The weather is finally fall / almost winter type weather. We've been in the 40's the last couple of days and it doesn't show any sign of warming back up. I triple love this time of the year, when it's crisp outside and snuggle warm inside.
And that's it. Patrick's on vacation this week, so we've been puttering around the house and just hanging out. He's so noticeably relaxed knowing he doesn't have to go into the office. The man really needs to get back to sawing - he'd be a much happier person.
And on to the tag ...
This is going to be hard - the questions have to be answered with only one word. Y'all know how wordy I am, but I think I'm up to the challenge.
1. Where is your cell phone? buffet
2. Where is your significant other? bed
3. Your hair color? blonde
4. Your mother? difficult
5. Your father? funny
6. Your favorite thing? laughter
7. Your dream last night? unsure
8. Your dream/goal? family
9. The room you’re in? office
10. Your hobby? reading
11. Your fear? mugged
12. Where do you want to be in six years? here
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you’re not? male
15. One of your wish list items? job
16. Where you grew up? Romeoville
17. The last thing you did? coffee
18. What are you wearing? jammies
19. Your T.V.? downstairs
20. Your pet? lots
21. Your computer? built
22. Your mood? chipper
23. Missing someone? yes
24. Your car? dodge
25. Something you’re not wearing? bra
26. Favorite store? erm ...
27. Your Summer? boring
28. Love someone? absolutely!
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
31. Last time you cried? days
We didn't go to the haunted corn maze on Saturday. Patrick thought there was going to be a group of people going and mentioned his hanging out at his mom's while the rest of us went. He apparently doesn't enjoy the spooky as much as I do.
Which meant we weren't going. Not because he refused to go - when he found out it really was going to be just the two of us, he insisted we go since I'd been looking forward to it all year (really, I had been). But that's no fun for me. I love to get into the mood of it all - you won't find me laughing my way through a haunted anything unless it's just that badly done. And I can't enjoy it like that if those I go with aren't enjoying it the same.
Instead, he made a few pumpkin pie cheesecakes (holy cripes they're so yummy) and we had a couple people over for pizza. So it was a fun evening all the same.
The weather is finally fall / almost winter type weather. We've been in the 40's the last couple of days and it doesn't show any sign of warming back up. I triple love this time of the year, when it's crisp outside and snuggle warm inside.
And that's it. Patrick's on vacation this week, so we've been puttering around the house and just hanging out. He's so noticeably relaxed knowing he doesn't have to go into the office. The man really needs to get back to sawing - he'd be a much happier person.
And on to the tag ...
This is going to be hard - the questions have to be answered with only one word. Y'all know how wordy I am, but I think I'm up to the challenge.
1. Where is your cell phone? buffet
2. Where is your significant other? bed
3. Your hair color? blonde
4. Your mother? difficult
5. Your father? funny
6. Your favorite thing? laughter
7. Your dream last night? unsure
8. Your dream/goal? family
9. The room you’re in? office
10. Your hobby? reading
11. Your fear? mugged
12. Where do you want to be in six years? here
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you’re not? male
15. One of your wish list items? job
16. Where you grew up? Romeoville
17. The last thing you did? coffee
18. What are you wearing? jammies
19. Your T.V.? downstairs
20. Your pet? lots
21. Your computer? built
22. Your mood? chipper
23. Missing someone? yes
24. Your car? dodge
25. Something you’re not wearing? bra
26. Favorite store? erm ...
27. Your Summer? boring
28. Love someone? absolutely!
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
31. Last time you cried? days
Friday, October 24, 2008
An early day ...
I was up far too early for someone without a job or kids. Yuck.
I did buy a 3rd package of chicken (well, a 3rd & 4th package) from a 3rd store before throwing out the other two packages. And this chicken smelled just fine - almost no odor until I put my face right up to it.
Which was a huge difference from the stench coming from the other packages that permeated the entire downstairs of our house.
So the original 2 packages of chicken thighs have been tossed and replaced with the new ones.
Still no word from my interview last week and I'm guessing it's officially safe to assume it's a no-go for me. I also applied for something earlier this week, but have yet to hear anything at all.
I did apply for another position last night (careerbuilder sends me nightly job posting alerts). This company's online process was a bit of a pain, but easier than some in other ways.
I believe we're going to go to this tomorrow evening. It's been a couple of years since our last visit (where Patrick first shoved me between him and a ghoulie and then later completely out of the way while he and a few others took off running) and I'm all sorts of excited to go. You can read a review of it here - it really is as good as they say. (Last year's review is much more descriptive, though, and gives you a better idea of what goes on.)
Plus what true lover of all things scary and creepy at Halloween could resist a barely moon-lit cornfield full of things that might jump out at you?!?
I did buy a 3rd package of chicken (well, a 3rd & 4th package) from a 3rd store before throwing out the other two packages. And this chicken smelled just fine - almost no odor until I put my face right up to it.
Which was a huge difference from the stench coming from the other packages that permeated the entire downstairs of our house.
So the original 2 packages of chicken thighs have been tossed and replaced with the new ones.
Still no word from my interview last week and I'm guessing it's officially safe to assume it's a no-go for me. I also applied for something earlier this week, but have yet to hear anything at all.
I did apply for another position last night (careerbuilder sends me nightly job posting alerts). This company's online process was a bit of a pain, but easier than some in other ways.
I believe we're going to go to this tomorrow evening. It's been a couple of years since our last visit (where Patrick first shoved me between him and a ghoulie and then later completely out of the way while he and a few others took off running) and I'm all sorts of excited to go. You can read a review of it here - it really is as good as they say. (Last year's review is much more descriptive, though, and gives you a better idea of what goes on.)
Plus what true lover of all things scary and creepy at Halloween could resist a barely moon-lit cornfield full of things that might jump out at you?!?
Thursday, October 23, 2008
I did a good bit of shopping yesterday.
I'll be the first to admit I'm seriously lacking in the adult meal preparation department. I've always been (and probably always will be) a total restaurant fanatic. If I have a choice of eating out or staying home and cooking, I will almost always choose going out. And when I don't choose going out, I still give serious thought to delivery.
So the whole buying bulk packages of meat and chicken (chicken's meat, I know, but ... ) and separating them into individual freezer bags for individual dinners ... well ... it's alien to me.
I bought two huge packages of chicken thighs yesterday from two different stores. When I got home, I noticed this really odd, nasty smell.
Open one package of chicken and holy fuck. I wanted to vomit. Really. It reeked. I separated and bagged them anyway, figuring I'd wait until I opened the 2nd package from the other store and see how it smelled (see? That's how much I don't cook 'real' food at home).
And it stank, too.
My mom thought the whole thing hilarious. There was much laughter on her end of the line once she got over the shock of her daughter actually preparing servings ahead of schedule.
Today, though, I'm feeling less confident about the chicken. Yes, both packages made me want to vomit. Yes, each package was from a different store so the chances of them both being spoiled are really low.
But still ... that rotten egg smell can't be a good sign. I've decided to toss them and buy some from a 3rd store.
And if that stuff stinks? Well, I'll feel like a dumbass for tossing out the other chicken but at least I'll be more confident that I'm not going to give Patrick and I salminella.
In other news ...
My ring is back! And it's beautiful. When the woman said I'd get a practically new ring back, she wasn't kidding. I can see where the changes were made in the prongs and the main diamond was reset to better fit the opening. And they re-rounded the band part - ya know, where it changes shape to match the actual shape of your finger. Apparently my fingers are more oval than round.
I'm super happy to have it back where it belongs. I really did miss the bugger.
*******
Long time readers of my blog will know that my closest friends are gay men. And I've always been curious about those who change their gender. I understand part of it, but there are parts I still don't quite understand.
Having said that (what an opener, eh?), I've been watching this show. I've seen a couple of episodes here and there in the past, but they recently started a 6 part series.
And it really is intriguing. Not just the aspect of the surgeries, but the stories of those who come to the hospital to have it done. The patients are almost painfully honest in their feelings and struggles with their gender. You really see their hearts in this show. And you also see the hearts of those around them.
Obviously, I'm not about to judge their decisions (and if you are, please keep it to yourself - comments about burning in hell and such will be deleted).
As to why people feel the way they do, I couldn't begin to comment. But I would recommend it for anyone who wants to learn more. It's not flashy, it's not gaudy - I wouldn't even rank it as a 'reality' show. It's just very matter of fact and honest.
And that cutting through the BS and showing the heart of people experiencing this is what makes it a must watch for me.
I'll be the first to admit I'm seriously lacking in the adult meal preparation department. I've always been (and probably always will be) a total restaurant fanatic. If I have a choice of eating out or staying home and cooking, I will almost always choose going out. And when I don't choose going out, I still give serious thought to delivery.
So the whole buying bulk packages of meat and chicken (chicken's meat, I know, but ... ) and separating them into individual freezer bags for individual dinners ... well ... it's alien to me.
I bought two huge packages of chicken thighs yesterday from two different stores. When I got home, I noticed this really odd, nasty smell.
Open one package of chicken and holy fuck. I wanted to vomit. Really. It reeked. I separated and bagged them anyway, figuring I'd wait until I opened the 2nd package from the other store and see how it smelled (see? That's how much I don't cook 'real' food at home).
And it stank, too.
My mom thought the whole thing hilarious. There was much laughter on her end of the line once she got over the shock of her daughter actually preparing servings ahead of schedule.
Today, though, I'm feeling less confident about the chicken. Yes, both packages made me want to vomit. Yes, each package was from a different store so the chances of them both being spoiled are really low.
But still ... that rotten egg smell can't be a good sign. I've decided to toss them and buy some from a 3rd store.
And if that stuff stinks? Well, I'll feel like a dumbass for tossing out the other chicken but at least I'll be more confident that I'm not going to give Patrick and I salminella.
In other news ...
My ring is back! And it's beautiful. When the woman said I'd get a practically new ring back, she wasn't kidding. I can see where the changes were made in the prongs and the main diamond was reset to better fit the opening. And they re-rounded the band part - ya know, where it changes shape to match the actual shape of your finger. Apparently my fingers are more oval than round.
I'm super happy to have it back where it belongs. I really did miss the bugger.
*******
Long time readers of my blog will know that my closest friends are gay men. And I've always been curious about those who change their gender. I understand part of it, but there are parts I still don't quite understand.
Having said that (what an opener, eh?), I've been watching this show. I've seen a couple of episodes here and there in the past, but they recently started a 6 part series.
And it really is intriguing. Not just the aspect of the surgeries, but the stories of those who come to the hospital to have it done. The patients are almost painfully honest in their feelings and struggles with their gender. You really see their hearts in this show. And you also see the hearts of those around them.
Obviously, I'm not about to judge their decisions (and if you are, please keep it to yourself - comments about burning in hell and such will be deleted).
As to why people feel the way they do, I couldn't begin to comment. But I would recommend it for anyone who wants to learn more. It's not flashy, it's not gaudy - I wouldn't even rank it as a 'reality' show. It's just very matter of fact and honest.
And that cutting through the BS and showing the heart of people experiencing this is what makes it a must watch for me.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Thoughts on shopping ...
I'm scouring the sales ads today, looking for who's the cheapest on what. I even looked online to get a general idea of who's cheapest on what isn't on sale (although Wal-Mart apparently isn't big on posting the prices of their stuff).
And I have a pad of paper and a pen to write down at the stores what I can't find online. I'll drive a few miles back to a store if it'll save me a few dollars because those few dollars add up when it's on more than just one or two items.
Yay for shopping when you're poor!
Anyway ...
I need to get a few things that'll last us a bit - the basics like chicken and more chicken and ground beef. Those I can separate into actual per-meal (not sure why, but I don't like the word 'meal') baggies to take out as needed. And a couple of things that I can make for dinner that'll give us left-overs, like a roast I can cram into our crockpot.
And I need to make sure to stay away from the lure of 'awesome' pricing - such as 10 for $10. It doesn't do me any good to spend $10 on something I normally wouldn't buy anyway just because the price is a good one.
Which leads me to coupons. I have a few that I'll be taking with me, but sometimes it's hard to not cut something out simply because it's a coupon. My judge is - if I don't normally buy it, I don't cut the coupon. Otherwise I'll be spending money on something I wouldn't buy any other day just to 'save' money. Which wouldn't be saving money at all, now would it?
So those are my thoughts for today.
And I have a pad of paper and a pen to write down at the stores what I can't find online. I'll drive a few miles back to a store if it'll save me a few dollars because those few dollars add up when it's on more than just one or two items.
Yay for shopping when you're poor!
Anyway ...
I need to get a few things that'll last us a bit - the basics like chicken and more chicken and ground beef. Those I can separate into actual per-meal (not sure why, but I don't like the word 'meal') baggies to take out as needed. And a couple of things that I can make for dinner that'll give us left-overs, like a roast I can cram into our crockpot.
And I need to make sure to stay away from the lure of 'awesome' pricing - such as 10 for $10. It doesn't do me any good to spend $10 on something I normally wouldn't buy anyway just because the price is a good one.
Which leads me to coupons. I have a few that I'll be taking with me, but sometimes it's hard to not cut something out simply because it's a coupon. My judge is - if I don't normally buy it, I don't cut the coupon. Otherwise I'll be spending money on something I wouldn't buy any other day just to 'save' money. Which wouldn't be saving money at all, now would it?
So those are my thoughts for today.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
No word yet ...
Tomorrow will be one week since my interview and I haven't heard anything yet. I'm going to assume (yeah, yeah, I know) that it means I didn't make the cut.
Damn it.
I spent about a half hour filling out the online assessment form for the call center job. 261 questions, with oddball ones thrown in - like "you cannot count past 50" and "your family gets along".
I realize they're probably tossed in there to make sure the person's paying attention, but Lordy they're irritating.
I keep trying to remind myself of the good points to this call center - no weekends or evenings, free health insurance, and a casual dress environment. Plus that whole making good money thing.
I do have an appointment with agency #4 tomorrow. I think this one deals mainly with temporary assignments, but I'm going to hope they'll have a permanent placement to offer me.
Although now is the time to stress if there ever were one, I'm doing my best to not stress too much.
I've always been the sort who refuses to spend her life worrying about this and that and such. Sure, worry about what needs to be worried about. But I refuse to let it affect every aspect of my life.
So ... I'm going to let Hoss out of his kennel and play tug of war with him and his new blanket (Hoss loves him some blankets).
And if someone calls, it can go to voice mail and I'll get it when we're done.
Damn it.
I spent about a half hour filling out the online assessment form for the call center job. 261 questions, with oddball ones thrown in - like "you cannot count past 50" and "your family gets along".
I realize they're probably tossed in there to make sure the person's paying attention, but Lordy they're irritating.
I keep trying to remind myself of the good points to this call center - no weekends or evenings, free health insurance, and a casual dress environment. Plus that whole making good money thing.
I do have an appointment with agency #4 tomorrow. I think this one deals mainly with temporary assignments, but I'm going to hope they'll have a permanent placement to offer me.
Although now is the time to stress if there ever were one, I'm doing my best to not stress too much.
I've always been the sort who refuses to spend her life worrying about this and that and such. Sure, worry about what needs to be worried about. But I refuse to let it affect every aspect of my life.
So ... I'm going to let Hoss out of his kennel and play tug of war with him and his new blanket (Hoss loves him some blankets).
And if someone calls, it can go to voice mail and I'll get it when we're done.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Selling my soul ...
At least that's what it feels like.
I broke down Friday and submitted my resume to a local call center. I know a couple people that work there and the money is really good and the health insurance is free and it is M - F daytime hours.
But it's a call center.
This is what I get for not finishing college. And now that I'm a grown-up with grown-up bills, I can't afford to forsake the full time pay to go to school. Even tuition reimbursement wouldn't do much as you still have to pay for the classes up front and then wait for your money to be reimbursed, which never happens before the next sessions start.
I've yet to find a scholarship program that's aimed at adults only, I don't qualify for any type of federal aide due to mine and my husband's salaries, and I abhor the thought of taking out a student loan.
But something's gotta give, as they say.
Because working in customer service sucks. Really. I can tell you with no amount of exaggeration that people have changed for the worse over the last 15 years. People no longer hesitate to yell and curse at the faceless entity on the other end of the line, some even making pretty nasty personal comments about the person trying to help them (note: sometimes when you're put on hold, the phone is just muted and we can still hear everything you're saying). And having been on the receiving end, I can also tell you that it's absolutely undeserved 99.99% of the time.
And apologizing after you've already spewed your vile hate doesn't even come close to making up for it.
So ... I'm about to start their online testing process.
I can't put into words how upsetting it is and how defeated I feel.
I broke down Friday and submitted my resume to a local call center. I know a couple people that work there and the money is really good and the health insurance is free and it is M - F daytime hours.
But it's a call center.
This is what I get for not finishing college. And now that I'm a grown-up with grown-up bills, I can't afford to forsake the full time pay to go to school. Even tuition reimbursement wouldn't do much as you still have to pay for the classes up front and then wait for your money to be reimbursed, which never happens before the next sessions start.
I've yet to find a scholarship program that's aimed at adults only, I don't qualify for any type of federal aide due to mine and my husband's salaries, and I abhor the thought of taking out a student loan.
But something's gotta give, as they say.
Because working in customer service sucks. Really. I can tell you with no amount of exaggeration that people have changed for the worse over the last 15 years. People no longer hesitate to yell and curse at the faceless entity on the other end of the line, some even making pretty nasty personal comments about the person trying to help them (note: sometimes when you're put on hold, the phone is just muted and we can still hear everything you're saying). And having been on the receiving end, I can also tell you that it's absolutely undeserved 99.99% of the time.
And apologizing after you've already spewed your vile hate doesn't even come close to making up for it.
So ... I'm about to start their online testing process.
I can't put into words how upsetting it is and how defeated I feel.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Back on line ...
We now have a new water heater and hot water.
We thought it might have been a bad seal, but Patrick discovered a crack in the actual tank just under the connection. There was a ton of sediment in the bottom of the tank and it wouldn't even drain when he tried. So the water heater was kaput.
No warranty as it was purchased in 1997 and had a 9 yr warranty. Dernit.
But we do have a new one and it's in place and working. My husband is the awesome.
My dad never did come out. I finally called him around 1pm and that's when he said he wasn't coming out. Nice way to call and let me know.
I haven't heard back from the interview yet. I'm hoping he calls today. That would rock.
Just in case, though, I have yet another appointment with yet another agency on Wednesday. This agency does all of the temp / direct hire for this place, so I'm hopeful to at least get something temporary through them.
Today will be laundry and dishes and floor mopping.
Ya know .... things you need hot water for.
We thought it might have been a bad seal, but Patrick discovered a crack in the actual tank just under the connection. There was a ton of sediment in the bottom of the tank and it wouldn't even drain when he tried. So the water heater was kaput.
No warranty as it was purchased in 1997 and had a 9 yr warranty. Dernit.
But we do have a new one and it's in place and working. My husband is the awesome.
My dad never did come out. I finally called him around 1pm and that's when he said he wasn't coming out. Nice way to call and let me know.
I haven't heard back from the interview yet. I'm hoping he calls today. That would rock.
Just in case, though, I have yet another appointment with yet another agency on Wednesday. This agency does all of the temp / direct hire for this place, so I'm hopeful to at least get something temporary through them.
Today will be laundry and dishes and floor mopping.
Ya know .... things you need hot water for.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Good morning ...
Patrick went to the basement to look for a coding book he bought and hollered up the stairs ...
Sweetie, we have a problem.
Our laundry room was flooded.
It took us a few minutes to figure out where it was coming from (I have a Nyquil hangover and am pretty useless) and discovered a leak in the supply line connection to our water heater.
My dad is on his way to take a look at it and we'll be checking with the manufacturer and our home owner's insurance to see what, if anything, is covered.
And we still haven't found Patrick's book.
Sweetie, we have a problem.
Our laundry room was flooded.
It took us a few minutes to figure out where it was coming from (I have a Nyquil hangover and am pretty useless) and discovered a leak in the supply line connection to our water heater.
My dad is on his way to take a look at it and we'll be checking with the manufacturer and our home owner's insurance to see what, if anything, is covered.
And we still haven't found Patrick's book.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Maybe finally ...
I think my interview went well. It's always hard to say, but I think I may have a shot at this one.
If I did well, I should be called back for a second interview fairly soon. But I'm hoping the regional manager will look at my resume and say "If you like her, I'm ok with it". Ya know - based solely on my resume and the manager's preference.
Although what I really wanted was for him to say "You're hired!" right there in his office.
Keep your fingers and toes crossed.
Earlier this morning I was thinking how easy this period seemed to be. Yes, it's still the tyrant it always is. But it just seemed shorter and less painful or something.
Then my uterus decided to remind me who's really in charge.
And it isn't me.
If I did well, I should be called back for a second interview fairly soon. But I'm hoping the regional manager will look at my resume and say "If you like her, I'm ok with it". Ya know - based solely on my resume and the manager's preference.
Although what I really wanted was for him to say "You're hired!" right there in his office.
Keep your fingers and toes crossed.
Earlier this morning I was thinking how easy this period seemed to be. Yes, it's still the tyrant it always is. But it just seemed shorter and less painful or something.
Then my uterus decided to remind me who's really in charge.
And it isn't me.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Tuesday catch-up ...
I have another interview tomorrow. This one was through an add on craigslist.
But I did learn my lesson - if the e-mail address ends in @gmail, you'll always be sent a link to a place to fill out your name & address, then get 3 pages of "do you want info on ..." questions.
Then you never hear from anyone. Ever.
I've even run across those on our newspaper's job site. With the company name always "confidential".
This one had a real e-mail address, though. And since I sent my resume last week, I'd completely forgotten I'd even sent it.
Yesterday afternoon's phone call was kind of like finding $5 in your jeans pocket - a pleasant surprise after the let-down at the agency.
We haven't received our kitchen table set yet and tomorrow is 6 wks. Last week they said it had an eta of the end of the week, but I never heard from anyone.
I'll be calling them when they open at 10am.
I'm also hoping to have my ring back at the end of this week. The store said they always ask we allow up to 4 weeks, but the manager at Tacori was having them send it to her attention and she told me to expect a turn-around of 10 business days.
Which would be this Friday.
Although 10 business days is kind of ambitious, if you ask me.
Edit 11:30 am:
So now the table is on back order. Which is not what I was told when I ordered it or the last 2 times I spoke with them in the last 2 weeks.
Now I'm being told it may be another 3 - 6 weeks.
And that store is a franchise. Which means the corporate company can't help.
I'm currently waiting for the ordering office's manager to call me back with more information.
Because, as I explained to her, this is absolutely unacceptable.
Edit 11:45 am:
The manager called me back - they're estimating the tables will be available around mid-November.
Estimating around that date.
Her manager has offered the options of waiting (with a clearly stated lack of gaurantee mid-November really will be the delivery date) or getting a refund. And since we paid cash, we'll have to get a refund check. Which will take 10 - 14 days to receive.
I opted to cancel the order and get our money back. Even if we were to be given the same deal - a different table w/2 free chairs - we'd still be looking at another 3 - 6 weeks (at the least, apparently).
To say I'm pissed would be an understatement.
But I did learn my lesson - if the e-mail address ends in @gmail, you'll always be sent a link to a place to fill out your name & address, then get 3 pages of "do you want info on ..." questions.
Then you never hear from anyone. Ever.
I've even run across those on our newspaper's job site. With the company name always "confidential".
This one had a real e-mail address, though. And since I sent my resume last week, I'd completely forgotten I'd even sent it.
Yesterday afternoon's phone call was kind of like finding $5 in your jeans pocket - a pleasant surprise after the let-down at the agency.
We haven't received our kitchen table set yet and tomorrow is 6 wks. Last week they said it had an eta of the end of the week, but I never heard from anyone.
I'll be calling them when they open at 10am.
I'm also hoping to have my ring back at the end of this week. The store said they always ask we allow up to 4 weeks, but the manager at Tacori was having them send it to her attention and she told me to expect a turn-around of 10 business days.
Which would be this Friday.
Although 10 business days is kind of ambitious, if you ask me.
Edit 11:30 am:
So now the table is on back order. Which is not what I was told when I ordered it or the last 2 times I spoke with them in the last 2 weeks.
Now I'm being told it may be another 3 - 6 weeks.
And that store is a franchise. Which means the corporate company can't help.
I'm currently waiting for the ordering office's manager to call me back with more information.
Because, as I explained to her, this is absolutely unacceptable.
Edit 11:45 am:
The manager called me back - they're estimating the tables will be available around mid-November.
Estimating around that date.
Her manager has offered the options of waiting (with a clearly stated lack of gaurantee mid-November really will be the delivery date) or getting a refund. And since we paid cash, we'll have to get a refund check. Which will take 10 - 14 days to receive.
I opted to cancel the order and get our money back. Even if we were to be given the same deal - a different table w/2 free chairs - we'd still be looking at another 3 - 6 weeks (at the least, apparently).
To say I'm pissed would be an understatement.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Another appointment ...
I have another appointment with a headhunter this morning.
Gah.
This will be headhunter #3.
But I'm going to go and take the myriad of tests (I even clipped my nails to make sure they won't get in the way of the typing test) and then probably be told (again) "well, I have this job for $7 an hour" ...
The Classified section of the news paper was pitiful. You know it's bad when most of the job listings are for truck drivers.
But I did e-mail my resume to a few places yesterday and an application and another copy of my resume are ready to be mailed. So as long as you don't count the other 100+ people sending their resumes as well, it wasn't all bad.
There were a couple of interesting jobs at a company the next town over that I applied for, but we'll see. I've applied for a few other things with them and never heard a word, so I'm not terribly optimistic. But I refuse to give up - maybe they'll hire me just to get me to stop sending them my resume.
My period started yesterday. 31 days from the last one. That's almost a real cycle.
Edit 11:22am:
Ok - change that "we have something for $7 an hour" to "we don't have anything right now, but ...".
Blah.
Gah.
This will be headhunter #3.
But I'm going to go and take the myriad of tests (I even clipped my nails to make sure they won't get in the way of the typing test) and then probably be told (again) "well, I have this job for $7 an hour" ...
The Classified section of the news paper was pitiful. You know it's bad when most of the job listings are for truck drivers.
But I did e-mail my resume to a few places yesterday and an application and another copy of my resume are ready to be mailed. So as long as you don't count the other 100+ people sending their resumes as well, it wasn't all bad.
There were a couple of interesting jobs at a company the next town over that I applied for, but we'll see. I've applied for a few other things with them and never heard a word, so I'm not terribly optimistic. But I refuse to give up - maybe they'll hire me just to get me to stop sending them my resume.
My period started yesterday. 31 days from the last one. That's almost a real cycle.
Edit 11:22am:
Ok - change that "we have something for $7 an hour" to "we don't have anything right now, but ...".
Blah.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Yummy goodness ...
I did finish the cleaning, in case anyone was worried.
And it's funny how quickly money goes. Really. But it was nice to not have to count every single penny since it was, technically, found money. And no, I didn't overspend so money that needed to be in my account is still there.
Go me.
Yesterday I made lasagna for the first time. Marty and Alan came over for dinner and fun was had by all. Plus lots of food.
We also picked up some yummies from this place. I had heard really good things about them and looked at them for our wedding cake, but their cake prices were pretty high. So yesterday was the first time I ever actually ate anything from there.
We picked up a 10 pack of their Deluxe mini cupcakes and a package of what they call Crumb Bums - pieces of un-used cake from cakes they had to sculpt.
Oh. my. fucking. God.
And this is coming from someone who generally does not like cake. So much so that I always get a pan of brownies for my birthday instead of birthday cake.
Not anymore!
No more normal store bought cakes for this broad. Nope. If I want a cake and don't have $25 - $45 to spend on one of theirs, I can pick up a container of Crumb Bums for $3 and pick my way to sweetness heaven.
All future birthday or other celebration type cakes will be coming from them.
And that's an order.
And it's funny how quickly money goes. Really. But it was nice to not have to count every single penny since it was, technically, found money. And no, I didn't overspend so money that needed to be in my account is still there.
Go me.
Yesterday I made lasagna for the first time. Marty and Alan came over for dinner and fun was had by all. Plus lots of food.
We also picked up some yummies from this place. I had heard really good things about them and looked at them for our wedding cake, but their cake prices were pretty high. So yesterday was the first time I ever actually ate anything from there.
We picked up a 10 pack of their Deluxe mini cupcakes and a package of what they call Crumb Bums - pieces of un-used cake from cakes they had to sculpt.
Oh. my. fucking. God.
And this is coming from someone who generally does not like cake. So much so that I always get a pan of brownies for my birthday instead of birthday cake.
Not anymore!
No more normal store bought cakes for this broad. Nope. If I want a cake and don't have $25 - $45 to spend on one of theirs, I can pick up a container of Crumb Bums for $3 and pick my way to sweetness heaven.
All future birthday or other celebration type cakes will be coming from them.
And that's an order.
Friday, October 10, 2008
I had plans ...
To do laundry and mop floors.
But I was sidetracked.
I had put my wedding dress on craigslist a couple of weeks ago and someone wanted it. Badly.
Well - there was another someone first, another someone who didn't call like she said she would. And it's people like that who wonder why you won't hold something a few weeks for them pffft.
Anyway ...
I received an e-mail about my dress last night and again this morning and she wasn't kidding around. The woman wanted it.
So I trekked it out and met with her. I gave her the dress (I did take it out of the bag so she could really see it for sure) and she gave me monies.
I headed to the bank to deposit some of it, thinking of the stuff I needed to pick up with the rest (like decent shampoo and conditioner). But my sense of instant gratification took hold and I went to get my hair cut instead.
Nothing fancy by some high dollar hairdresser, but definitely not a family cuts type of deal. But it was still just $25 and it was much needed.
And I do have plenty left in hand to get a few of the things we need.
There's still plenty of daylight left (it's not even 1pm, after all), so it's not like the whole day is wasted.
I'm just not as motivated now as I was at 8:00 this morning.
Funny how that works.
But I was sidetracked.
I had put my wedding dress on craigslist a couple of weeks ago and someone wanted it. Badly.
Well - there was another someone first, another someone who didn't call like she said she would. And it's people like that who wonder why you won't hold something a few weeks for them pffft.
Anyway ...
I received an e-mail about my dress last night and again this morning and she wasn't kidding around. The woman wanted it.
So I trekked it out and met with her. I gave her the dress (I did take it out of the bag so she could really see it for sure) and she gave me monies.
I headed to the bank to deposit some of it, thinking of the stuff I needed to pick up with the rest (like decent shampoo and conditioner). But my sense of instant gratification took hold and I went to get my hair cut instead.
Nothing fancy by some high dollar hairdresser, but definitely not a family cuts type of deal. But it was still just $25 and it was much needed.
And I do have plenty left in hand to get a few of the things we need.
There's still plenty of daylight left (it's not even 1pm, after all), so it's not like the whole day is wasted.
I'm just not as motivated now as I was at 8:00 this morning.
Funny how that works.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Still looking ...
So I've turned into a craigslist employment stalker.
If it weren't for Jaded and a local friend both saying they had an interview from a craigslist posting, I'd think they were all scams to trick you into getting online college and insurance information.
But there are almost daily postings, so I keep checking back. As in ... at least 30 times a day.
Yeah ... I wish I were kidding.
I'm hoping we'll have our kitchen table set sometime today or tomorrow. I called to check on the status and the woman said it shows a delivery date of this week. That won't be delivery to our house, but to their distribution center here in Knoxville. We opted to pay only for them to put the pieces together and then we'll pick it up. Delivery to our home would have been another $50. And since we'd spend a lot less than that in gas to pick it up, we saw no reason to have them deliver it.
Anyway ...
It would be awesome to have it today or tomorrow. Especially since I'm attempting lasagna for the first time this weekend and we have a few friends coming over.
It'd rock if we all had a place to sit that didn't involve a couch or a begging dog.
If it weren't for Jaded and a local friend both saying they had an interview from a craigslist posting, I'd think they were all scams to trick you into getting online college and insurance information.
But there are almost daily postings, so I keep checking back. As in ... at least 30 times a day.
Yeah ... I wish I were kidding.
I'm hoping we'll have our kitchen table set sometime today or tomorrow. I called to check on the status and the woman said it shows a delivery date of this week. That won't be delivery to our house, but to their distribution center here in Knoxville. We opted to pay only for them to put the pieces together and then we'll pick it up. Delivery to our home would have been another $50. And since we'd spend a lot less than that in gas to pick it up, we saw no reason to have them deliver it.
Anyway ...
It would be awesome to have it today or tomorrow. Especially since I'm attempting lasagna for the first time this weekend and we have a few friends coming over.
It'd rock if we all had a place to sit that didn't involve a couch or a begging dog.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Will you hire me?
This whole maybe I was fired because the job for me is right around the corner thing? Yeah .. that's not working out so much.
I've been applying for things left and right. I've even started e-mailing about jobs on craigslist. That's how much I've been trying to get hired.
Shit ... I'd settle for interviewed at this point.
There isn't any news on the adoption front.
Patrick still hasn't filled out any of his paperwork.
I haven't gathered any of the additional documentation we'll need.
I don't feel comfortable going through the meetings with my not working and our not having medical insurance. Even if she did say we could look at it as a temporary thing for now.
I want to be gainfully employed and again covered by insurance before we get to the heart of the home study. I don't want any lingering doubts about our financials and ability to take care of a child, so I'm holding back on it.
But when I am? Oh but the pressure will be on hah
I've been applying for things left and right. I've even started e-mailing about jobs on craigslist. That's how much I've been trying to get hired.
Shit ... I'd settle for interviewed at this point.
There isn't any news on the adoption front.
Patrick still hasn't filled out any of his paperwork.
I haven't gathered any of the additional documentation we'll need.
I don't feel comfortable going through the meetings with my not working and our not having medical insurance. Even if she did say we could look at it as a temporary thing for now.
I want to be gainfully employed and again covered by insurance before we get to the heart of the home study. I don't want any lingering doubts about our financials and ability to take care of a child, so I'm holding back on it.
But when I am? Oh but the pressure will be on hah
Monday, October 6, 2008
Just days away ...
Sore boobs: Check
Acne: Check
Constant urge to eat whatever can't outrun me: Check
Yes, her highness is on her way.
Acne: Check
Constant urge to eat whatever can't outrun me: Check
Yes, her highness is on her way.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Lawnmower: 1 Humans: 0
Remember the neighbor's garage sale in which we bought a riding lawnmower?
It's one of these, with a 30 inch cutting base. A decent lawnmower that's still in great condition. Not sure exactly how old it is, but it was obviously kept in the garage as there's absolutely not rust. Either way, we got an awesome deal at just $150.
Anyway ...
I went to use it on Friday and couldn't get it to start. It should be simple - turn the key to on and pull the chord.
But it wouldn't fire up. And seeing as I'm not exactly Hercules, I figured it was just that I wasn't able to pull the chord hard enough.
So Patrick tried when he got home. Several times.
Yesterday morning, Saturday, we tried several more times. Patrick took things apart and put them back together. He cursed and grumbled at spending money for something that didn't work.
Although, in the neighbor's defense, I saw the guy mowing his lawn with it, he drove it right up our driveway, and Patrick started it again with no problem and drove it into the backyard and into the shed. So it was working when we took possession of it.
He even removed the ignition thing and took it to a local Snapper dealer, who said there wasn't anything wrong with it.
When we got home, I made him leave. Really. He was grumpy and irritable and pissed with a capitol P. Which I understood. But he was beginning to ruin my day as well and I wasn't having it. His brother was working nearby and had offered to come help look at it, but that would be a few hours away still. So I shooed him off to visit his brother.
When he and his brother showed up a few hours later, they repeated all of it. They broke that lawnmower down and both cursed and became frustrated.
Then his brother asked ... does this thing have a parking break?
Why yes, yes it does.
Patrick climbed on, pushed the break and slid this little metal bar to the side.
Pulled the chord.
And the mower fired right up on the first try.
When I heard the mower, I went outside - excited and relieved that it was working.
When they told me about the break, I said ... I remember reading something like that on the mower. On. the. mower.
And there it was - on a large white sticker with black text, at the very top - Before starting your mower ...
I even remember reading it when I was trying and I did play with that little bar (everything else is marked, so that'd be the only thing that could be the parking break), but didn't know you had to push the break pedal in to get it to stay. And when it wouldn't stay, I figured it was some sort bar that really didn't do anything.
So our mower is working and I plan on giving the lawn what will probably be its last cut of the season.
And Patrick owes our neighbor an apology.
It's one of these, with a 30 inch cutting base. A decent lawnmower that's still in great condition. Not sure exactly how old it is, but it was obviously kept in the garage as there's absolutely not rust. Either way, we got an awesome deal at just $150.
Anyway ...
I went to use it on Friday and couldn't get it to start. It should be simple - turn the key to on and pull the chord.
But it wouldn't fire up. And seeing as I'm not exactly Hercules, I figured it was just that I wasn't able to pull the chord hard enough.
So Patrick tried when he got home. Several times.
Yesterday morning, Saturday, we tried several more times. Patrick took things apart and put them back together. He cursed and grumbled at spending money for something that didn't work.
Although, in the neighbor's defense, I saw the guy mowing his lawn with it, he drove it right up our driveway, and Patrick started it again with no problem and drove it into the backyard and into the shed. So it was working when we took possession of it.
He even removed the ignition thing and took it to a local Snapper dealer, who said there wasn't anything wrong with it.
When we got home, I made him leave. Really. He was grumpy and irritable and pissed with a capitol P. Which I understood. But he was beginning to ruin my day as well and I wasn't having it. His brother was working nearby and had offered to come help look at it, but that would be a few hours away still. So I shooed him off to visit his brother.
When he and his brother showed up a few hours later, they repeated all of it. They broke that lawnmower down and both cursed and became frustrated.
Then his brother asked ... does this thing have a parking break?
Why yes, yes it does.
Patrick climbed on, pushed the break and slid this little metal bar to the side.
Pulled the chord.
And the mower fired right up on the first try.
When I heard the mower, I went outside - excited and relieved that it was working.
When they told me about the break, I said ... I remember reading something like that on the mower. On. the. mower.
And there it was - on a large white sticker with black text, at the very top - Before starting your mower ...
I even remember reading it when I was trying and I did play with that little bar (everything else is marked, so that'd be the only thing that could be the parking break), but didn't know you had to push the break pedal in to get it to stay. And when it wouldn't stay, I figured it was some sort bar that really didn't do anything.
So our mower is working and I plan on giving the lawn what will probably be its last cut of the season.
And Patrick owes our neighbor an apology.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Birthday party purge ...
After the drama of yesterday, my head spend the next several hours pounding. It's much better now, thanks.
My nephew's first birthday is coming up. His older sister's birthday was the other day. So my step-sister planned a joint birthday party for them. Double joy.
Guess who's not going?
I was laying in bed last night and it popped into my head. This child's birthday. The one who's birthday is only a few days away from my own expected due date. The one I have yet to hold.
But it popped into my head after another thought ... kind of on the tail end of it. I'll explain ...
My step-mom has been in my life since I was literally a couple years old. Our family moved in next door to hers. She and my mom were best friends for years (no, I'm not kidding). No, she didn't cause their divorce - she was married herself and for more years than my own parents. I'm just saying ... she's been a parent type figure for me my entire life.
She and my dad started dating a couple of years after their respective divorces (that ended her and my mom's friendship, of course). I was probably about 9 or so.
My dad moved in with her a year or so later. I know they were living together by the time I was in middle school and I started middle school at 11. So 9 or 10 ... somewhere in that ballpark.
Anyway ...
The first Christmas they were living together was when our family tradition of how to celebrate Christmas started. I was there Christmas Eve until around 9 or 10, then my dad would take me home and I'd wake up and spend Christmas Day with my mom. It was like that throughout the rest of my childhood and has continued today - all of us kids congregate at my dad & step-mom's on Christmas Eve (now the siblings bring their kids and, yes, one even has grandkids she tows along) and then do our own family's Christmas on Christmas Day.
Back to that first Christmas ...
On Christmas Day, amidst the mayhem at my house, my step-mom calls to wish me a merry Christmas. And to tell me that Santa apparently got confused which house I'd be at because he left me a stocking at theirs.
Now, mind you, I was older and had known about santa for years (I caught my parents in a santa related gift fib when I was like 7). So it wasn't like I was this little kid who believed with all of their heart. But I was excited all the same. I mean ... who doesn't like getting 2 stockings of candy and goodies?!?
And that was a tradition until the Christmas after I turned 18. Every Christmas morning, she would call and it'd be the same line - Santa was confused again and left a stocking.
As a child and a teen, it was fun.
As an adult, I realized how much more than that it was.
It meant I was accepted and, more importantly, wanted. And it spoke volumes more as the meaning behind it than what the stockings contained.
I keep meaning to tell her this. How much it really meant to me that she would do this year after year.
And last night, this is the initial thought that started it all.
I really need to find a time to tell her. It'd do no good to talk about it after she's gone (no, she's not sick. But ya know ... you never know).
That's when the birthday party popped into my head. And my own miscarriage. And the fact that we were living with them at the time.
And that's when the anger reared its head.
Anger at having to be surrounded by baby stuff and happy baby talk while I continually mourned the loss of ours. Anger at her tell us how excited her new son-in-law was at their 6 wk ultrasound while I sat on the couch, still bleeding from our miscarriage. Anger at the complete lack of understanding and, worse, her failing to even attempt to.
Anger at that baby being brought up in (and I'm not kidding) every conversation we have.
I need to 1) separate the two and 2) let it the fuck go.
But I'm struggling with it. I want to not be angry with them anymore. At all. I want to reach the point where I can shrug and say ... it was what it was and now it's done. And mean it.
I'm finding that I can't.
And deep down I know it's not my step-sister's fault (although part of me wants to blame her for getting pregnant at the same time and having the nerve to deliver a healthy baby). And it certainly isn't the baby's fault.
So, as a daughter, I seem to continually assign the anger I may feel at those two at my dad and step-mom. Because if we're being honest, it's not pretty to be angry at someone simply because of their ability to do what my body fails at.
And it's surely not pretty to hold the wand of jealousy and self-centeredness, wondering why on earth she thought it a great idea to try and get pregnant when she knew I was (yet again) cycling.
But I'm not angry with her. It sounds like it, I'm sure. But I'm not. I can't blame her for wanting to have a baby with her new husband. I can't blame her for her body doing what it should. And I can't blame her as she never flaunted it. She actually was far more careful about the discussions she had around me for the first few months after my miscarraige than my dad & step-mom were.
It seems that I'm rambling. But I needed to throw this out to the universe before it ate me up even more.
I want to get past the anger at them. I want to be able to thank her for what she did for me with a clear heart, without any of the last year and 1/2 coming to the surface.
I'm just not sure how.
My nephew's first birthday is coming up. His older sister's birthday was the other day. So my step-sister planned a joint birthday party for them. Double joy.
Guess who's not going?
I was laying in bed last night and it popped into my head. This child's birthday. The one who's birthday is only a few days away from my own expected due date. The one I have yet to hold.
But it popped into my head after another thought ... kind of on the tail end of it. I'll explain ...
My step-mom has been in my life since I was literally a couple years old. Our family moved in next door to hers. She and my mom were best friends for years (no, I'm not kidding). No, she didn't cause their divorce - she was married herself and for more years than my own parents. I'm just saying ... she's been a parent type figure for me my entire life.
She and my dad started dating a couple of years after their respective divorces (that ended her and my mom's friendship, of course). I was probably about 9 or so.
My dad moved in with her a year or so later. I know they were living together by the time I was in middle school and I started middle school at 11. So 9 or 10 ... somewhere in that ballpark.
Anyway ...
The first Christmas they were living together was when our family tradition of how to celebrate Christmas started. I was there Christmas Eve until around 9 or 10, then my dad would take me home and I'd wake up and spend Christmas Day with my mom. It was like that throughout the rest of my childhood and has continued today - all of us kids congregate at my dad & step-mom's on Christmas Eve (now the siblings bring their kids and, yes, one even has grandkids she tows along) and then do our own family's Christmas on Christmas Day.
Back to that first Christmas ...
On Christmas Day, amidst the mayhem at my house, my step-mom calls to wish me a merry Christmas. And to tell me that Santa apparently got confused which house I'd be at because he left me a stocking at theirs.
Now, mind you, I was older and had known about santa for years (I caught my parents in a santa related gift fib when I was like 7). So it wasn't like I was this little kid who believed with all of their heart. But I was excited all the same. I mean ... who doesn't like getting 2 stockings of candy and goodies?!?
And that was a tradition until the Christmas after I turned 18. Every Christmas morning, she would call and it'd be the same line - Santa was confused again and left a stocking.
As a child and a teen, it was fun.
As an adult, I realized how much more than that it was.
It meant I was accepted and, more importantly, wanted. And it spoke volumes more as the meaning behind it than what the stockings contained.
I keep meaning to tell her this. How much it really meant to me that she would do this year after year.
And last night, this is the initial thought that started it all.
I really need to find a time to tell her. It'd do no good to talk about it after she's gone (no, she's not sick. But ya know ... you never know).
That's when the birthday party popped into my head. And my own miscarriage. And the fact that we were living with them at the time.
And that's when the anger reared its head.
Anger at having to be surrounded by baby stuff and happy baby talk while I continually mourned the loss of ours. Anger at her tell us how excited her new son-in-law was at their 6 wk ultrasound while I sat on the couch, still bleeding from our miscarriage. Anger at the complete lack of understanding and, worse, her failing to even attempt to.
Anger at that baby being brought up in (and I'm not kidding) every conversation we have.
I need to 1) separate the two and 2) let it the fuck go.
But I'm struggling with it. I want to not be angry with them anymore. At all. I want to reach the point where I can shrug and say ... it was what it was and now it's done. And mean it.
I'm finding that I can't.
And deep down I know it's not my step-sister's fault (although part of me wants to blame her for getting pregnant at the same time and having the nerve to deliver a healthy baby). And it certainly isn't the baby's fault.
So, as a daughter, I seem to continually assign the anger I may feel at those two at my dad and step-mom. Because if we're being honest, it's not pretty to be angry at someone simply because of their ability to do what my body fails at.
And it's surely not pretty to hold the wand of jealousy and self-centeredness, wondering why on earth she thought it a great idea to try and get pregnant when she knew I was (yet again) cycling.
But I'm not angry with her. It sounds like it, I'm sure. But I'm not. I can't blame her for wanting to have a baby with her new husband. I can't blame her for her body doing what it should. And I can't blame her as she never flaunted it. She actually was far more careful about the discussions she had around me for the first few months after my miscarraige than my dad & step-mom were.
It seems that I'm rambling. But I needed to throw this out to the universe before it ate me up even more.
I want to get past the anger at them. I want to be able to thank her for what she did for me with a clear heart, without any of the last year and 1/2 coming to the surface.
I'm just not sure how.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Say what?
I took my ring to the jeweler's to drop it off for the prong resetting.
And I brought it right back home.
Not because it's good as new. Oh no.
Because the jeweler suggested we either pull out our receipt or contact the place of purchase (who closed their local office a couple years ago) to verify our original order.
Let me back up a bit ...
When I took it in a couple weeks ago, the jeweler and the retailer (the actual owner guy) both had several questions about my setting.
They both asked who set the main stone, saying they don't believe Tacori did. They both asked how long I had to wait to have it delivered (about 6 weeks). They both commented on the design, how a few things didn't seem right and wondered if the jeweler had made any adjustments to it.
I didn't give it much thought. The ring stands a bit high and I bump it on something at least every couple of days. And platinum being a softer metal, it will show some wear over time.
So fast forward to this morning ...
The store guy (not the owner I spoke with before) had my ring with the jeweler for probably a good 10 minutes.
He said they could clean it up, smooth out some edges and reset a few prongs.
But that both are fairly secure in the knowledge that our original jeweler sold us a knock-off.
Yes ... a fake Tacori that they designed to look like the original we paid a couple grand for.
This is me ... stunned. And pointing out that it looks almost (note I say almost as there are a few minor differences) just like the one on the Tacori site.
The jeweler said that it happens sometimes - a customer will order a ring and that the jeweler will take a similar ring and hand design it to look like the one that was ordered. Essentially selling us a fake ring that costs a fraction of what we paid.
He pulled a couple of their Tacori rings from the display and showed me the stamp inside the band. Much like the one inside mine.
But only at a quick glance. When you use one of those magnifying things to take a closer look, you can see huge differences between the two. Theirs is stamped - clean and clear and set lower than the ridge of the band. Mine isn't - it's almost barely ledgible and set even with the band.
He pointed out a few other differences and problems with it that I hadn't noticed (because it's not like I've ever worked in jewelry store). All leading them to believe my ring isn't really a Tacori.
We've moved twice since ordering my ring. I have no idea where our original receipt is and it's not in the few boxes we still have packed that has paperwork.
Fast forward to 5 minutes ago ...
Tacori (whose number I dug up) returned my call and allayed my fears.
She explained that some signatures are stamped, but others are engraved. If the band is more narrow (which mine is), their signature will be hand engraved and not stamped. And that more narrow bands do require more detailed hand crafting. She was able to confirm it even more when I gave her the style number.
She verified that the retailer we purchased it through has been an authorised dealer of theirs since 1998 and said they're considered a very trustworthy retailer.
She also suggested I send the ring to them for refurbishment and cleaning instead of having the jewelry store do it. And Because Tacori has a lifetime warranty on their rings, the only thing I should have to pay for is the shipping.
On top of that, the very nice woman is also going to call the jeweler I visited and have them call me to bring the ring in and have them ship it to Tacori for me.
She even went so far as to apologize for the alarmist attitude of the store, saying they should have just offered to send it to Tacori and take it from there. Then, if there really was a problem, it could have been addressed rather than have me here, at home, freaking out and going through boxes like a woman possessed.
So ... I have a stress headache, but I feel better.
And I just hung up with the jeweler who called to let me know I can bring the ring in anytime before 7pm.
And I brought it right back home.
Not because it's good as new. Oh no.
Because the jeweler suggested we either pull out our receipt or contact the place of purchase (who closed their local office a couple years ago) to verify our original order.
Let me back up a bit ...
When I took it in a couple weeks ago, the jeweler and the retailer (the actual owner guy) both had several questions about my setting.
They both asked who set the main stone, saying they don't believe Tacori did. They both asked how long I had to wait to have it delivered (about 6 weeks). They both commented on the design, how a few things didn't seem right and wondered if the jeweler had made any adjustments to it.
I didn't give it much thought. The ring stands a bit high and I bump it on something at least every couple of days. And platinum being a softer metal, it will show some wear over time.
So fast forward to this morning ...
The store guy (not the owner I spoke with before) had my ring with the jeweler for probably a good 10 minutes.
He said they could clean it up, smooth out some edges and reset a few prongs.
But that both are fairly secure in the knowledge that our original jeweler sold us a knock-off.
Yes ... a fake Tacori that they designed to look like the original we paid a couple grand for.
This is me ... stunned. And pointing out that it looks almost (note I say almost as there are a few minor differences) just like the one on the Tacori site.
The jeweler said that it happens sometimes - a customer will order a ring and that the jeweler will take a similar ring and hand design it to look like the one that was ordered. Essentially selling us a fake ring that costs a fraction of what we paid.
He pulled a couple of their Tacori rings from the display and showed me the stamp inside the band. Much like the one inside mine.
But only at a quick glance. When you use one of those magnifying things to take a closer look, you can see huge differences between the two. Theirs is stamped - clean and clear and set lower than the ridge of the band. Mine isn't - it's almost barely ledgible and set even with the band.
He pointed out a few other differences and problems with it that I hadn't noticed (because it's not like I've ever worked in jewelry store). All leading them to believe my ring isn't really a Tacori.
We've moved twice since ordering my ring. I have no idea where our original receipt is and it's not in the few boxes we still have packed that has paperwork.
Fast forward to 5 minutes ago ...
Tacori (whose number I dug up) returned my call and allayed my fears.
She explained that some signatures are stamped, but others are engraved. If the band is more narrow (which mine is), their signature will be hand engraved and not stamped. And that more narrow bands do require more detailed hand crafting. She was able to confirm it even more when I gave her the style number.
She verified that the retailer we purchased it through has been an authorised dealer of theirs since 1998 and said they're considered a very trustworthy retailer.
She also suggested I send the ring to them for refurbishment and cleaning instead of having the jewelry store do it. And Because Tacori has a lifetime warranty on their rings, the only thing I should have to pay for is the shipping.
On top of that, the very nice woman is also going to call the jeweler I visited and have them call me to bring the ring in and have them ship it to Tacori for me.
She even went so far as to apologize for the alarmist attitude of the store, saying they should have just offered to send it to Tacori and take it from there. Then, if there really was a problem, it could have been addressed rather than have me here, at home, freaking out and going through boxes like a woman possessed.
So ... I have a stress headache, but I feel better.
And I just hung up with the jeweler who called to let me know I can bring the ring in anytime before 7pm.
Strangetown, we have a problem ...
So the whole Sims transfer thing didn't work out well. I could never get one family to open at all and the family that did open moved horribly slow.
I know what I'm going to have to do and I really don't want to.
Not only will I have to reinstall all of the expansion packs, but I'll need to also make sure the colleges, business districts, and vacation destinations are assigned exactly the same on this one as on the other computer. Otherwise I run the risk of the people themselves not being placed right when I unpackage them (for example: If I have one college assigned on his and another on this one, the students I have in college for that neighborhood won't be assigned right and they won't work).
Then I'll be able to use the game to package the sims themselves, save them to disk, and then unpackage them into the game on my computer. That will be the least time consuming part, taking only a few minutes.
The rest of the endeavor? Yeah ... that whole first part will take a few hours.
You (all 2 of you) probably think I'm a tad nuts for it, but I have more than a year invested in these digitized people and I'm not letting go without a fight.
It's going to have to wait until this weekend, though. I can't get into Patrick's computer when he's not home, so I can't start until I have him on hand.
I'm going to take my ring in today to have it fixed. I hope they won't keep it too long. I'm one of those who only takes off her ring to put on hand lotion and then it goes right back on. So not having it is going to be very strange.
Plus I'm sure I'll have many mini-freakouts as I suddenly realize it's not there and momentarily wonder where I left it.
I know what I'm going to have to do and I really don't want to.
Not only will I have to reinstall all of the expansion packs, but I'll need to also make sure the colleges, business districts, and vacation destinations are assigned exactly the same on this one as on the other computer. Otherwise I run the risk of the people themselves not being placed right when I unpackage them (for example: If I have one college assigned on his and another on this one, the students I have in college for that neighborhood won't be assigned right and they won't work).
Then I'll be able to use the game to package the sims themselves, save them to disk, and then unpackage them into the game on my computer. That will be the least time consuming part, taking only a few minutes.
The rest of the endeavor? Yeah ... that whole first part will take a few hours.
You (all 2 of you) probably think I'm a tad nuts for it, but I have more than a year invested in these digitized people and I'm not letting go without a fight.
It's going to have to wait until this weekend, though. I can't get into Patrick's computer when he's not home, so I can't start until I have him on hand.
I'm going to take my ring in today to have it fixed. I hope they won't keep it too long. I'm one of those who only takes off her ring to put on hand lotion and then it goes right back on. So not having it is going to be very strange.
Plus I'm sure I'll have many mini-freakouts as I suddenly realize it's not there and momentarily wonder where I left it.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Homecoming ...
I am happy to welcome my Sims2 families back.
I went through each neighborhood to check and see who was where and make sure it worked the way it should.
The thing I forget is how many times I had to uninstall the game. Which means some of the families I remembered weren't there.
Sadness.
But the ones that are there are ones I spent over a year cultivating and growing and I'm just as happy to have them back.
There's only one small snag that I've found so far - one of my families is in both their normal neighborhood and the college neighborhood associated with it. I'm not sure how that happened or what that'll mean for them, but I figure I'll just play the one in the regular neighborhood and leave the one in the college alone.
It's nice to have already existing families - ones I'm very familiar with - to play as opposed to having to create new ones from scratch. That would be why I haven't played for months. All of my games and families were on a different computer and I hate creating new ones after getting attached to others.
So welcome home!
I haven't heard back from either job I submitted my resume to this week. The job market here sucks so much ass right now.
Patrick has offered to pay for the repairs to my ring as an anniversary gift. Which excites me. I love my ring and hate the thought of it being damaged and losing a stone. And then being stuck having to pay out the nose to replace the stone and fix the ring. I'll be taking it to the jeweler in the next couple of days.
And now ... without further ado ...
I'm off to reaquaint myself with my Sims.
** Or not ...
There seems to be a larger problem.
One family won't open. It acts like it's going to, but then it just sputters with the turning hourglass. The only way to get out of it is to ctrl alt dlt out of the game entirely.
I checked another family and it opens just fine. It even prompted me with game tips for Free Time.
I'm going to need to go family by family and see who will and who won't open.
Chances are high that I'll have to uninstall all of the games on this computer, reinstall up to Free Time, package only my sims on Patrick's computer then let the packager put them where they need to be on mine, and then install Free Time on top.
Everything but the stories (the sims themselves) and Free Time are identical between the computers, so I'm not sure where the problem is. But there is one.
I went through each neighborhood to check and see who was where and make sure it worked the way it should.
The thing I forget is how many times I had to uninstall the game. Which means some of the families I remembered weren't there.
Sadness.
But the ones that are there are ones I spent over a year cultivating and growing and I'm just as happy to have them back.
There's only one small snag that I've found so far - one of my families is in both their normal neighborhood and the college neighborhood associated with it. I'm not sure how that happened or what that'll mean for them, but I figure I'll just play the one in the regular neighborhood and leave the one in the college alone.
It's nice to have already existing families - ones I'm very familiar with - to play as opposed to having to create new ones from scratch. That would be why I haven't played for months. All of my games and families were on a different computer and I hate creating new ones after getting attached to others.
So welcome home!
I haven't heard back from either job I submitted my resume to this week. The job market here sucks so much ass right now.
Patrick has offered to pay for the repairs to my ring as an anniversary gift. Which excites me. I love my ring and hate the thought of it being damaged and losing a stone. And then being stuck having to pay out the nose to replace the stone and fix the ring. I'll be taking it to the jeweler in the next couple of days.
And now ... without further ado ...
I'm off to reaquaint myself with my Sims.
** Or not ...
There seems to be a larger problem.
One family won't open. It acts like it's going to, but then it just sputters with the turning hourglass. The only way to get out of it is to ctrl alt dlt out of the game entirely.
I checked another family and it opens just fine. It even prompted me with game tips for Free Time.
I'm going to need to go family by family and see who will and who won't open.
Chances are high that I'll have to uninstall all of the games on this computer, reinstall up to Free Time, package only my sims on Patrick's computer then let the packager put them where they need to be on mine, and then install Free Time on top.
Everything but the stories (the sims themselves) and Free Time are identical between the computers, so I'm not sure where the problem is. But there is one.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
All caught up ...
I don't like getting dramatic. And sometimes I feel like discussing our miscarriage is just that - me being dramatic - even though I know it's not.
But yesterday's post was was needed. It had been in my head for some time now, especially with my nephew's 1st birthday party coming up this weekend.
And no ... I don't think I'll be going. My family, once again, won't understand. But that's their problem.
Now ... onto other, lighter, topics ...
* Our dining table set should arrive sometime late this week or early next. Yay!
* I'm out of the ssscat spray (I absolutely love that video hah) and Daniel has been attacking our bedroom door with regularity again. Which has me up and down several times a day, saying "Get away from the door".
* East Tennessee is officially welcoming autumn, my fave season, with much cooler temperatures. Today is supposed to be a high of 68 before we swing back into the upper 70's.
The outside dogs, Hoss and Pearl, are loving this weather. They're like animals at the zoo - all tired and sluggish during the high heat of summer and alert and frisky when the temps go down.
Which means more barking and more wanting out of their kennels to run the yard.
Except Hoss managed to drag a garbage bag around our deck, open it without even a tooth mark (no idea how he did that), and was discovered with half his body in it when I went outside. When he heard me and finally moved his head (as I tried to wrestle the bag around his 120lb frame), he was covered in coffee grounds.
I wish I had my camera with me.
So he's stuck until tomorrow.
* I have barely played Sims2 since being off work, but all of my families are on Patrick's hard drive and not mine. I installed the game and the expansion packs (I have all but the most recent one) on this one and created a couple of famlies, but it's not the same and I found myself getting frustrated and bored.
So last night I informed him that I want to back them up off his and install them on mine. I want my families back.
And now you're all caught up.
But yesterday's post was was needed. It had been in my head for some time now, especially with my nephew's 1st birthday party coming up this weekend.
And no ... I don't think I'll be going. My family, once again, won't understand. But that's their problem.
Now ... onto other, lighter, topics ...
* Our dining table set should arrive sometime late this week or early next. Yay!
* I'm out of the ssscat spray (I absolutely love that video hah) and Daniel has been attacking our bedroom door with regularity again. Which has me up and down several times a day, saying "Get away from the door".
* East Tennessee is officially welcoming autumn, my fave season, with much cooler temperatures. Today is supposed to be a high of 68 before we swing back into the upper 70's.
The outside dogs, Hoss and Pearl, are loving this weather. They're like animals at the zoo - all tired and sluggish during the high heat of summer and alert and frisky when the temps go down.
Which means more barking and more wanting out of their kennels to run the yard.
Except Hoss managed to drag a garbage bag around our deck, open it without even a tooth mark (no idea how he did that), and was discovered with half his body in it when I went outside. When he heard me and finally moved his head (as I tried to wrestle the bag around his 120lb frame), he was covered in coffee grounds.
I wish I had my camera with me.
So he's stuck until tomorrow.
* I have barely played Sims2 since being off work, but all of my families are on Patrick's hard drive and not mine. I installed the game and the expansion packs (I have all but the most recent one) on this one and created a couple of famlies, but it's not the same and I found myself getting frustrated and bored.
So last night I informed him that I want to back them up off his and install them on mine. I want my families back.
And now you're all caught up.
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