Down and up ...

This past week at work was better. Less stressful in a way, even though our call center's phones were fuckered for 3 days. I managed to get my normally scheduled work done and even help the leads a bit. I'm to listen to calls for our normal reps, not just our new hires. When? When I get the time. Friday I had the time. It'll get easier as more new hires move out of their 90 days and are no longer my direct reports.

With the fall of the Dow Jones, so goes my uneasy plan.

Wednesday is the start of the Lupron. This period, like every period since my miscarriage, is strange. I'm going to ask my RE about it when I go in Wednesday morning.

The progesterone only birth control pills aren't as hard on my hormones as the normal estrogen / progesterone kind. Unlike normal birth control pills, I haven't been weepy or emotionally eratic.

I've taken all of Wednesday off. There's no particular reason outside of the fact that I haven't taken any time off since the miscarriage in March. Well - except for that 1/2 day in June after I bled on my pants for the 2nd day in a row and decided I needed to go back to bed. But that doesn't count. I don't have any plans outside of the doc's appointment. I'm just going to lollygag and be lazy.

Why is Wednesday spelled the way it is? I have to take care to spell it right each time I type it. And I'm always positive it's wrong, even though I know it's not. Stupid English.

My wedding ring is my engagement ring. Patrick spent a lot on my engagement ring, so we (I) decided to just wear the one ring. For some reason (I blame the hormones hah), I've been hit with this want of a wedding band. This one does have a mate, but it's pricey and isn't even all that attractive. But my ring is, curved at the base, doesn't really allow for a standard flat band.

So I'm not sure what, if anything, I'll do.

Of sleepless nights ...

Patrick and I picked up the last Potter book yesterday. One for each of us since we've discovered we can't share books. He finished a few hours before I did, but both books were done last night.

I'll wait a couple of weeks to post my views to give any readers a chance to read it before I share my thoughts.

My period continues to come and go. So we'll see.

I'm approaching this cycle with more trepidation than usual. I'm sure part of it is because I dread a repeat of our last cycle and the miscarriage, but most of it is because of other things going on in my life right now.

But I believe I have a game plan. I'm not exactly happy about it, but I think it's the right track to take. And it's this game plan that's causing the extra trepidation.

Can you tell how badly I want to go into detail? hah

Anyway ... it is what it is and I'll give all of the details when the time comes.

Oh so mysterious ; )

And the beat goes on ...

It's been a while since my last update. Obviously. But a lot has been going on.

What sucks about having co-workers read your blog is that you can't exactly talk about work in any specifics. Really. That sucks. Because there's a lot to talk about and a lot I want to say, but I can't. The last thing I need is anything I say becoming grist for the rumor mill at my office.

I will say that I have a lot to think about and a couple big decisions to make in the next few weeks.

My period has stared. Sort of. It started, I started the progesterone, and it has come to a screeching halt. I have my clearing ultrasound on the 1st to make sure it's ok to start the lupron, so I'll know then if this is an ok or bad thing.

If it's a bad thing, I'll chalk it up to "of course it is" since that's the way things have been going lately.

Patrick and I are going to pick up the last Potter book today. We'll both probably have it read by Monday. So, in the spirit of everyone's an asshole, I'll be avoiding my blog at least until then in case some random schmuck posts a spoiler.

So much else to say ...

In girly news, I did get my nails done. With a color I brought in. I'm not all that crazy about it.

In treatment news, I'm still waiting on my period. And I'm up to 2 metformin pills a day. Which is kicking my ass. Last night was the first night I took 2 at once (I have to get up to 3 a day) and this morning I'm nauseas. Not overly sick to my stomach, but every now and again I have the urge to vomit. Fun times.

I'm blogging from home this morning (notice the lack of a title) as I'm working 11 - 8 the first part of this week. A new new-hire class starts today, though, so I'll be back to 8 - 5 on Thursday.

Which reminds me ... Mad man, I don't have any of their network info.

I've officially shut down my xanga and can't get to any of the xangans I read. Including my own husband's hah So if you're on xanga and wonder why I haven't commented, it's because you have it locked, ya goobs.

I had my nails painted last weekend. Did I mention that? My nails are mine. As in, I didn't pay anyone to attach them to my fingers. They're home-grown. And hardly anyone ever notices them. Until I get them painted. At which point everyone notices them. And promptly asks if they're real. Which is the main reason I don't paint them very often - everyone assumes they're acrylic / fake / whatever and it drives me bonkers. I work hard to keep them long and strong (heh, pervy nails!) and it's irritating when others assume they're fake.

But I'm going to have them repainted. Maybe today. The polish is looking rough and I'm ready for another color.
[/girly]

I need to reserve a copy of the final Harry Potter book. I want to give a big Nyah! to everyone who thinks Snape is evil.

It's hotter than fuckerballs outside and I'm having a hard time mustering the energy to do much. I was planning on going into work, but didn't. Although I did run to PPaws in Greenback and get some flea meds for the pups. That's about as motivated as I've been all day.

Unless you count holding the couch down for a short nap.

The title bar isn't working. Or at least it's not working on this computer. Bastard.

The Proactiv I ordered arrived. Yay!

The ebayer I bought it from never left me feedback, even though I paid for it less than 10 minutes after the auction closed. Fucker.

Yeah ... I think I'll take my polish in and have my nails done again (I suck at painting my own nails). I need to get lottery tickets anyway.

Give me Saturday or give me death ...

The cookout was a good time. And I didn't wear my white shorts. Which is, I believe, why I'm still waiting.

I'm not known for my patience.

This week has evened out a bit and things have calmed down. I'm behind as all fuck, but I can at least start catching up.

We're still working out the kinks in the new system and still reminding people to do things the way they were told, not this nifty knew way they randomly discover. Ya know, the what looks like a shorter way to do something that actually creates more problems? Yeah ... that.

And that's about it. My brain is still relatively fried and I still have a lot to do before my next class begins next week.

Oh say can you see ...

Still no sign of the red dragon. But I plan on wearing white shorts today so I'm sure it'll arrive at some point, probably when I'm standing up in front of a group of people.

Patrick's brother's boss holds an annual cookout and we've gone the last few years. And he does it up right with a ton of grilled and baked food that has included ribs, burgers, hotdogs, pot roast, shrimp, and crab legs, along with the usual salads and finger foods. I only know a few of the people there (like my husband, his brother, and the bossman), so we usually don't stay for more than a few hours. We took my best gay, Marc, with us last year and he's going again this year too. So make that 4 people I'll know.

One of the random cats that wander the property had kittens a few weeks back. Probably in the 4 - 5 week range. We didn't discover them until last week, though. She's a sneaky bitch. Anyway - there were 5 and now there's 4 (we've no idea where the 5th one went, but we suspect it's in another room that momma kitty's been caught going into). Only the mother moved one of those 4 from the garage to under the deck in the front of the house. We have no idea why, but there's one kitten hanging out in a drain pipe that runs around the house. She's obviously still feeding it as it looks healthy. It's just weird for a momma cat to move a single kitten and continue to take care of it. They usually move only one if that one's sick, dying, or dead. And then it's just left where it is.

This morning I was able to wrangle one with a yummy (blech) piece of canned dog food. Then I was able to nab the other 2. Just a few weeks old and they're already food whores. 2 girls and 1 boy. 2 girls = gazillions more babies if they're not fixed. So ... the goal is to get them used to people so we can take them to the no-kill shelther and get them homes.

Mad Man, don't you want a cute lil kitten?

Ok folks. I need to get ready for this shindig. Y'all be safe and try to mind the dry grass and trees around you. Don't be an ass and start (yet another) forest fire.

I am the Queen of Mindless Chatter ...

With the exception of the PIO and heparin, all of my drugs are in house. It'll still be a few weeks before we get into the big shots, but the lupron shots are only a couple weeks away. Assuming the on and off cramping really does mean my period is on its way instead of my uterus just toying with me. Which isn't out of the realm of possibilities.

I've been eyeballing houses again. It's not like we can buy one right now, but it's still fun to look and go to random open houses. It's been a good way to see what's available and start to see what's out there that we can afford while still getting what we want.

One house we visited a couple weekends ago is nice. It has that $200,000+ look with a price that's actually not that far out of our reach. And in the week since we walked through, the owners dropped the price $5,500. Still more than we want to pay and further out than I want to live, but it's a nice reminder that now is the time to buy since buyers really have more negotiating power right now.

A woman from Morristown was on Extreme Makeover last night. I cringed the whole time, knowing the show was solidifying the "everyone in the south is a hick" mentality. It was like an hour long the-tornader-took-my-trailer sound bite. Oy.

In other boring news ... I was able to order some Proactiv on ebay. That shit's beyond expensive if you order it through their web site or phone number, but it works. Really. It works. I stopped using it when we got pregnant, worried the chemicals would be a no-no, and didn't start up again until recently. And I'm almost out of the cleanser. So I trolled through ebay on Saturday and found gobs of it for a lot less. I managed to order enough cleanser and toner to last for several months for less than I'd have paid for a one month supply through the manufacturer. Although I can't use the moisturizer. It turns me all lobstery.

Monday Monday ...

I'm the only supervisor at work. For some odd reason, I'm being trusted to close the office on my own with only a "shut off the coffee pots if the cleaning crew isn't here yet and make sure everyone's logged out and the lights are off".

Pretty simple. And, despite what Mad Man may say, I shouldn't fuck it up too badly.

My dad called earlier to let me know a package of drugs arrived. The package came by FedEx, so I knew it wasn't the repronex since that always comes UPS. Suspecting it was the lupron, I called home since the Lupron needs to be refrigerated. And it was the Lurpon.

My other drugs came a bit later.

So I'm all ready to start the next run of shots.

Except my period hasn't started yet. The bastard.

I was never happier for a weekend ...

Last week was one for the record books.

I got my hair cut on Wednesday. And because I have really thick hair, it has a tendency to kind of christmas tree out when it gets too long. So I asked for a few more layers to add a bit more swing to it and to hopefully stop the christmas tree look.

And a few more layers I got. I'm all layered up. I'm pretty much hating my hair cut. Luckily, it'll grow out in a few weeks. Until then I'll just have to wear it partly up.

Work stress reached an all time high. Not only was I stressed with the new software and the new hires, but I created a huge shit-storm that will probably play out over the next couple of weeks. I won't go into detail since co-workers read this, but ... guh. I'm still waiting to see exactly what the fallout will be.

In other news -

I've officially shut down my xanga account. For those that I read on xanga, I'll have issues reading your blog if you have friends only or xanga only locks on your account. But I'll keep trying!

In other news part 2 -

My drugs will be delivered today. Yay! Take that, Customs!

I'm also cramping. Double yay!

That means the games will begin shortly.