Still on my mind ...

The more I think about it, the more sure I become about choosing to forego IVF and head into adoptionland.

Patrick and I haven't exactly had a serious discussion about it, but it's something we've always tossed back and forth. His comments have always been - we can stop the treatments any time you want.

I honestly no longer know if I want to go through it again - the shots, the hormones, the absolute crazy madness it brings. I thought I did. Want to continue. But I like not having to worry about what shot I get and when, which store I'll be in when I have a meltdown over something trivial, the heartbreak after raised hopes.

And while I still desperately want to experience being pregnant, it's not as important as it once was. The answer to the question of "why don't you adopt?" doesn't seem as convaluted as it once did.

As a friend said the other night - it sounds as though it's the right time in my heart.

Adoption is foreign territory for me. Yes, I've always investigated our options. I've gotten several packets from various agencies. Hell, my own mother is adopted.

But I've never seriously put too much thought into it. It just seemed so ... huge. So overwhelming (like the treatments aren't, right? hah). So out of reach.

Now ... not so much.

I have questions still. I have things here that need to be situated.

Starting the home study isn't in the near future for us, but it's there. I can see it.

To that end ...

I'll be getting my china appraised. My mom gave it to me and it's dated pre-WWII, if I remember my research correctly. While I hate to let go of the only thing that's been passed down, that I can pass down, I have to remember - they're dishes. And if they're dishes that are worth a decent penny that can be put towards our goal, they're dishes that will have served a much better purpose than being used just once a year.

There's a pet situation that needs to be dealt with. And Hoss needs to be introduced to some baby dolls. He's not a mean dog, but he's still very playful and, at 120lbs, doesn't know his own strength. Plus he still chases whatever runs. And children run.

Um ... I still need a job. I'm not so sure that my saying "well, I'm looking ..." is going to be good enough. Although if anyone has any information about this, please feel free to share it.

I think those are the main things that can be worked on in the short term.