It's been an emotionally turbulent weekend. But I'm in a better place today.
Could have something to do with not having to look at my step-sister. Although I think this afternoon will see a replay of Saturday. Today's my dad's birthday and a cook-out has been planned.
It'll be a miracle if I get through it without stabbing someone in the eye with a skewer.
I took my last pill (mini-pill now that we know about my MTHFR problem) Friday, skipped Saturday's, and woke up to blood yesterday morning. Really now - I just had a cycle about a week & a half ago. Even my RE said I may not bleed again so soon, so I wasn't really expecting it.
It seems where my ovaries give me the bird when they're supposed to be working, my uterus is going for straight A's.
Just curious - anyone else out there with the MTHFR problem refer to it as the MotherFucker problem instead of the Mother problem Or is it just me?
At least that solves the when should I start taking baby aspirin problem. I was worried that any lining that had already built up would be laiden with clots (thank you, MotherFucker)and, since my RE's only mentioned taking the baby aspirin when I start the heparin after the IUI, if I really needed to start taking it now. Which I probably should have asked about when I was there last time but didn't think about until after I left (of course).
So at least that's one question answered.
Last night's lupron shot left a red blotch. It's not painful but it sure is ugly. When I poked around and found a spot that didn't pinch, I started pushing the needle in. Apparently that spot was not only without feeling, but it was tough (rawhiiiiide)and the stupid thing wouldn't just slip in. I thought I'd pull back and just poke somewhere else, but my skin pulled back with the needle and I knew it was too late. I had to commit. So I stood there, needle half in half out, suddenly terrified it was suddenly going to hurt like a bitch. I finally just gave it a good shove. No pain.
Just me feeling like a dolt.
1 comment:
Hey! It's Jennifer (Josh's wife). I just wanted to tell you that if you search infertility on you tube there are a lot of videos that people are entering/ have entered in this years infertility film festival. Some of them are very good.
Also this song is the only song that I have ever heard that really hit the nail on the head. Warning: it made me cry for about an hour, but you know.. a good cry.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ
I really wanted to share these with you because they really made me feel not so alone. I mean sometimes I feel silly that I get so depressed about being infertile, for one because I am so young, and second I haven't been through all the fertility treatments, and I honestly probably never will do the treatments. But it still hurts to want children and not be able to do what comes natural for other people. Sometimes I feel like its implied that if you are infertile but choose not to do the treatments that you are not really part of the group. I guess what I am trying to say is that I read your blog and do feel a kinship to you. I mean we have chosen to go about them different ways because we are going to pursue adoption, and you are taking treatment, but the quest is really still the same. :)
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