Finding a happy place ...

October 25th would have been our due date. And as I watched my very pregnant step-sister slowly ride a 4 wheeler last night, I commented to my husband how nice it must be to be so secure in the knowledge that you'll deliver a healthy, live baby. In the back of my mind are her on and off contractions and the fact that there's a very good chance she'll deliver on what I see as "our" date.

If she does, I don't know that I'll be able to stand it.

So ... in the interest of staying in my happy place, I've devised a list of some things I'm looking forward to when we're in our own place:

Privacy. For the last 3 years, we've had absolutely no privacy. There's always someone here or about to be here and we're very rarely alone. Our bedroom is the only room in the house that offers any kind of privacy. And even that is kind of limited as it's right under the kitchen and there's always people about.

Having my fur kids with me again. Right now they all live outside - the dogs in kennels and the cats in a pretty damned decent cat house Patrick built when we moved here last year. Daniel, the youngest of our cats, slept with us every night starting the night we found his little kitten self in our driveway. He's been in the cat house for more than a year now. There were nights I missed his furry lil body something fierce. I can't say how much I'm looking forward to curling up with him again, even if it does mean having to remind him to leave Lucy (an old girl I've had 12 years) alone when he gives chase at some point in the middle of the night.

No game of 20 questions from those around us. For all the crap I share, I'm actually a pretty private person. Living with other people, especially parental units, means they always know what you're doing, where you're going, and what happened while you were out. I can't wait for the day when the only person I have to share that info with is my husband.

No stoned / drunken step-brother that talks non-stop about the same shit over and over when all you want to do is relax and watch tv or read a book.

Watching Hoss, my big boy, run around an actual yard again. I hate having him in a kennel, even if it is a large one. I'm really looking forward to letting him loose to run around without worry that he's going to run off or chase someone (he likes to chase things ... people ... other animals ... that run).

I can wear any type of pajamas I want. With other people in the house, you have to be kind of careful about what you wear - especially if you have large boobs. Which I do. So any pj's with straps are out.

Leaving my clothes in the dryer for 2 days if I want. Or using the washer when I want and then drying our clothes on my schedule instead of someone else's. 5 people in one house makes for a hectic and confusing laundry schedule. There's always someone washing or drying something, so you need to get your shit out quickly. In our own place, it'll be just our stuff and our timetable.

Speaking of laundry ... towels. Patrick and I don't go through a lot of towels. But summers in a home with a pool and nieces & nephews and other random family members make for a lot of towel usage. Especially since they use the towels in the upstairs bathroom. Which is the bathroom we use and the towels we use. Which means when the clean towel supply gets low, somehow I get fingered for that washing duty. Even if I used the pool only twice (which is true - new bathing suit and I used it twice all summer). If I never hear "You need to wash some towels, girl" again, it'll be too soon.

Silence. Not complete silence, as I do like the radio or the tv as background noise sometimes. But no other voices. As I sit here, one niece is playing with her dolls behind me with a constant chatter, my step-mom and the swollen belly step-sister are in the next room, and my step-brother just came upstairs and is talking to them about something or other. It can be quite maddening.

Ok - I'll say it ... Sex when we want and where we want. We won't have to worry about someone hearing or suspecting or, God help, interrupting. If we find the mood hits and we're in the living room, well then close the drapes and romp away. No more biting my tongue when someone says "Why are you going to bed so early?".

I think those are the main things. At least those are the things that have been popping into my head fairly regularly the last few days.