We interrupt this broadcast ...

When I started this blog, I purposely kept personal, identifying information out. My first name and the city I live in really is all the great land of the internet needs to know until I feel more comfortable sharing more information with individuals.

Having said that, I already knew a couple of co-workers read this blog. And that was ok. One was the reason I left Xanga and came to blogspot - he told me about the differences and I liked them. The other is someone who's been on the front line of listening to my tales of woe in relation to our infertility struggles for almost 2 years. They were sworn to secrecy and made to promise to not share this address with anyone (you'd think I worked for 007 or something).

Not a problem.

This evening, though, I was given reason to suspect a couple of people who report directly to me had found it. I say suspect because I don't have any proof. The only thing I have going is that both were non-blogging people and one had the same name as one of my direct reports.

I can safely say I have never had one single anonymous or non-blogger comment since I came to blogspot. Until today.

Which has put me in a quandry. And a mild state of panic.

Which is kind of weird. Because it's not the work-related things that has me paniced. It's the infertility-related things that does.

I suddenly felt this huge violation of my privacy. Really. Me. Miss tell everyone that'll listen and plenty that won't. I was upset that they had, uninvited, read my blog. And learned things I had no intentions of sharing with them. Why? Because it's none of their damned business, that's why.

This is a first for me. I'm usually the one that talks about being open, sharing our stories and struggles. Sharing our information so others will hopefully be better educated about infertility and how it truly affects those of us dealing with it.

This evening, though, I found myself going blogspot / invite only. I'm struggling, for the first time, with how to deal with direct reports who stumble here and then learn things I had no plans on sharing with them. That's not to say they didn't already know or hear things. It's just that I didn't share it.

Maybe that's it. Maybe it's that I didn't get to decide who knows and when. Yet another control related struggle to go along with the other control related struggles infertility thrusts on us.

Having said that ... yes ... only blogspotters and invited people will be able to read in the future. I plan on leaving a comment for Lost and Found, but if you know of anyone who isn't on blogspot who reads my blog, please have them e-mail me at angelast71@gmail.com. If they have a blog, I will be happy to send them an invitation to read.

If they don't ... well ... they'll need someone to vouch for them. Because I really really really don't want to have to start all over.