Of dreams ...

I was in a building of some sort, kind of like an office type setting, but not an actual office. I remember a room with chairs (these come into play in a bit) - but not super comfy chairs like a living room - and a hall with doors off of it.

I knew where the kitchen was - again, not a house sort of kitchen, but a kitchen. Not that I went into it, but I remember I was heading in that direction at one point.

And there was a baby someone had brought in. Someone had brought the baby in and left him there (it was a boy, although I couldn't tell you a name).

Although he was a little bit older. Not toddler, but not quite newborn. Somewhere in between.

I was holding him in my lap, loving this insanely precious child.

At some point, I realized he was wet. So I changed his diaper (I remember, so clearly, folding the tiny thing up and how saturated it was) and then got up to walk around. That's when I noticed that the leg of my pants were wet. From the diaper.

It had leaked all over my leg.

I remember thinking how there was something wrong with the baby. Thinking it should be getting close to being potty trained and how I could help with that (although thinking about it now I know it wasn't anywhere nearly old enough to even be a consideration).

And hoping I could keep the baby.

So I carried him around and a couple was sitting in the chairs. The man on the left, the woman ont he right. Normal, average looking people.

I don't remember the words that were said ... just the understanding that I couldn't have a baby and they didn't even know if they could or not because they hadn't tried to have one.

The man wanted him, the woman said, for their own.

Can't I keep him? I can't have one of my own. It would only be fair since you haven't even tried to have one and I've been trying for so long.

Yes. You can have him.



I've spent the last 2 days missing the grooves of his tiny body against my chest.