I had a dream ...

and it sucked.

Really.

I'm up at 5am because of a retardo dream.

The company I work for really does try to hold onto the whole family atmosphere and you can see it in how the employees relate and care about each other. One of these ways is when someone's having a baby shower - people will post fliers for the shower and it's posted on the company's intranet.

Ok. I can deal with that.

But this morning my brain took it a step further.

I had a dream that someone sent out an e-mail about a "mommy fund". The purpose of the fund would be to purchase baby shower gifts for expectant moms throughout the year. You donate a few dollars the one time and voila, no more pressure to buy a gift.

I woke up with the words of my e-mail to our president still running through my head.

Because, truthfully, that would have been my normal response would that have really happened. Why directly to the president? Because the offending e-mail was sent by someone in our HR team and they're all very aware of my situation (and my constant feedback about insurance coverage). So if it's sent by them, then the next person is their boss.

But it wasn't a real e-mail. Just one my head made up. Because it hates me sometimes.

I actually think it's because this is our first Christmas after our March miscarriage and rearranging our visiting schedule had the added benefit of avoiding my step-sister's baby (I'm lovely, aren't I?). I think the dream is just a sign it's bugging me more than I'm willing to acknowledge.

Which is ok. If that's what it need to do, then so be it. But that won't stop me from napping later on.

In other news ... the puppy potty pads are working.