Dear Uterus ...

You and I need to have a talk.

I understand how you enjoy celebrating life's events with me. You insist on sharing birthdays and holidays and I get it.

You love me.

You love me so much that you want to make sure you're there for those moments of joy and happiness.

And as my weekend get-away to celebrate my upcoming wedding anniversary approaches, I can feel your footsteps getting closer. The raging hormones, the urge to eat anything that can't out run me, and my very sore breasts are all heralding your arrival.

Knowing you as I do, though, I know you'll choose to wait, to be very patient, and show up so very close to the day we head out of town.

Because you rarely miss out on the excitement.

Just this once, though, I want you to show me your love in a different way.

Let's throw caution to the wind and you and I celebrate my anniversary this weekend instead of next.

It'll be fun! Just you and me, some ice cream, and ... ok ... maybe some Aleve. But that's it! No one else will be invited. We'll be all selfish and greedy and have our very own shindig.

Please?

It'd be so nice of you.